Thursday, December 29, 2005

Facing the demon

also known as the bathroom scale. I knew I was going to be up. I suppose it could be worse, but I knew I was going to have to face it sooner or later. 2 lbs is not the end of the world. I now have my reality check, will eat better today and tomorrow, and next week, and I will exercise. I want to see that number go down, not up.

It's crazy. I have a journal in my purse, but if I don't start it at the beginning of the week, I don't want to be "wasteful" and start filling out pages the rest of the week, so I can start fresh and not "waste" a page. For cripe's sake, I think I can spend the $5 or so for a journal, and not fill out every page. Get over it!

Went out to the bar last night for a friend's 40th birthday. I now know again why I don't go to the bar... Eric and I stripped in front of the clothes chute when we got home, so our clothes did not stink up the bedroom. I don't know that we would frequent places more if we did not come home smelling of smoke, but it sure would be nice when we did go out.

There were also some interesting characters at the bar last night. There were these two women I ran into in the bathroom that were bumping and grinding with each other in the bathroom, talking about "nice" men, and who they wanted to go home with... the scary part was they looked to be at least 40-45, and were trying to pick up college guys. Eric was convinced they were hookers. It just made me step back and wonder. Here were some women with GREAT bodies, trying in the bar to pick up men, but they were so over the top, and seemingly so DESPERATE, that they were just not attractive. Then you take one of my friends, who is cute, and blonde, and is struggling with some weight that she has put on, surrounded by 6 men, having a conversation with them all engaged. I know she is single, and would like to be in a relationship, but is secure enough with herself that she does not feel like she has to try and grab on to anything that moves and is male. So there you have it. We all have issues, it's not just me. I am so glad that my husband finds me attractive, even with my ups and downs. And I know it's for all of me, not just what I look like.

Well, enough of the musings for the day, I really have some things I NEED to get accomplished here at work today.

Make it a great one!
~a

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