Friday, March 23, 2007

Feeling guilty

Oh yeah, and it just so happens, that my DH had some minor surgery yesterday... he had the inital posts put in for his dental implants... in 4 months or so, he will again have a full mouth of teeth.

But I feel guilty, because I'm leaving for a week, and I can't help him if he needs something. I'm sure he will be fine because you know, he's an adult, but I still feel like I am leaving him in the lurch a bit. I've been so busy with work and other assorted things that I did not have time to go get him food he could eat.

Friday, already?

It’s definitely been a week.

I had to go to Chicago this week for work. Flew in on Tuesday morning, got to the yard office, and the first road block was getting in the door…

I buzz to get in. Over the intercom:
“May I help you?”
“It’s Anneke”
“What’s your name?”
“Can you tell me your name?”
“My name is Anneke S…, I’m the safety advisor, I’m here for the safety walkabout!”

It was someone new, who didn’t know me. She thought I was asking for a key, and wanted to know my name…

So as I get in the door, one of my co-workers from Calgary is standing there, in front of the desk, just laughing.

But, the meetings went well, and I think we got accomplished what needed to get done.

I even got to speak to my boss’s boss (and we get on very well) about some frustrations I have been feeling lately, and we worked out some issues. Then I moved on to drinking wine. The four of us from our department sat in the lounge, drinking, and eating a bit of dinner after the drinking. And we all crashed and slept soundly that night. A good thing, since we were meeting to go back to the rail yard at 6:15am.

I even got in a 4-mile run on the hotel’s treadmill on Tuesday afternoon, since we were done earlier than planned.

Wednesday was some airport/airplane hell though… lines of thunderstorms in the Chicago area prevented all of the planes from leaving, just as we were taxiing out to the runway. So we sat. And I managed to finish my book before we were allowed to leave, so then I had nothing to do… we were supposed to get in around 6pm, and ended up touching down at 8:05. So much for getting stuff done at home! At least I had packed snacks with me so I was not completely ravenous when I got home… but I was not able to exercise because there was absolutely no time.

Yesterday I did go out after work. 4 miles. 42 minutes or so. Eric asked me if it was a good run. And you know, it was neither good nor bad. Which I don’t know what that means. I got out there, it wasn’t terrible, but that “runner’s high” never kicked in. I guess you can’t win them all. I am trying to loosely follow a half marathon training program – the friend who ran the 8K with me last Sunday really wants me to do a race with her in June. A week after I get back from Isle Royale – but heck, it’s a goal that will also help me get in shape for all the hiking!

And today. I fly out to Florida this evening to visit my parents for a week. I am looking forward to the sun and relaxation. I just hope the weather is good for flying!

On the weightloss front, I was very pleased with the scale this morning… it’s still going in the right direction. I’m down about 10 pounds from my “yikes” moment several weeks ago. I’m tracking points, and exercising. My goodness… is that what it takes???

And I am feeling quite cute today, in a jean jacket/blazer that is not nearly as snug as it was two weeks ago.

Time to get things wrapped up at work before leaving for a week.


Monday, March 19, 2007

A good weekend

Friday night, Eric and I ventured out to a fish fry. Something at work had made me a bit cranky, but I refused to let it get the best of me - but I did make Eric get me a couple of beers while we were waiting in line to get food (yes - a very popular place - we waited in line for about 45 minutes). I was feeling quite happy at that time.

Then we went to REI, and I bought a backback for my trip. I can now do some conditioning hikes, with my pack and my new boots! We were thinking about going out for a drink after our shopping, but as we were both yawning, we figured we would go home instead. And we were in bed before 10 pm. Yep, we're old...

Saturday, I went running with the group. I hadn't gone out since the bad run on Wednesday (thought I needed some recovery time) and tried to take it real easy. After mapping it out, it was actually somewhere around 5 miles, but I didn't even time myeslf to see how long it took. Drank some coffee with the group, went home to take a bath, then I was off to get my hair cut. It turned out okay - but it's a little shorter than I would have liked... the front will not tuck behind my ears, and it keeps slipping out of clips. But it's hair. It will grow. And this is the first time in a long time that I am not 100% pleased with my haircut.

After that, I went to the store, and finally bought the software to do my taxes. Then I went home, watched the Grey's Anatomy that I had recorded, then crawled into bed and took a nap until my husband got home. Ate some dinner, then started doing our taxes.

Sunday morning, I got the bed changed, the taxes done and e-filed (yay! getting a refund this year!), did several loads of laundry, made a good breakfast of egg beaters, 2% cheese slices and light wheat toast, and chatted with a friend who came over to clean up our computer (Eric and I are not "real" computer people.). The 8K race was scheduled to start at 1:20 pm. I got myself out of the house at about noon, to meet my freind at the registration area, we dropped stuff off at her car, used the porta-potties, and speed walked the three blocks to the starting area, where the race started about a minute after we got there.

It was kind of overcast and windy, but I had dressed well for the race. Up the first big hill on Summit Avenue - up to and across Snelling, I could hear my friend was breathing pretty heavy, so I asked her if she was okay - and she said she needed to walk - and I should go ahead. So I kept on. My goal was to jog/run the whole race. So there was Mile 1. The guy with the stopwatch said the time was about 12 minutes, 30 seconds. Which was okay, since I was in the back of the starting chute, and did not cross the start for a bit after the race was started.

At the mile two marker, the time there was somewhere around 22 minutes, 40 seconds. Close to a 10-minute mile! From there, to William Mitchell College - the turnaround point. Listening to my music, in the "zone", catching up to people, passing... up the small hill by Kowalski's, knowing that it's pretty much downhill from there. Down the hill past Snelling Ave, coasting, making good use of the hill. Wondering if I should speed up. Past Prior Ave (the starting point) and into the end. I finished strong, picking up the pace for the last two blocks, and seeing the time on the clock as 52 minutes.

Man it felt good.

My first 8K, and I feel like I made a very respectable showing. My friend ended up fininshing about two minutes after me, still not bad, but she was not real pleased because she felt pretty lousy throughout the whole race. Truly, what a difference a couple of days make!

It was a good weekend.

(Oh, and the scale was down another pound today - that makes 7 pounds lost... and I feel much better in my clothes!)

Happy Monday to you all!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


That's what my run felt like today. Pretty much pure hell. Thanks to the larger than I should have eaten lunch, I felt like I wanted to throw up pretty much the whole time. But I did it. I contemplated not going out, but gave myself a stern lecture, and got out there.... my third day in a row of running. 3 miles today, in about 36 minutes (including the strtching and a bit of walking). I also signed up to run an 8K race on Sunday... so I need to shake this one off.

Monday's run was awesome. I felt great, it was a beautiful day, and I did 4 miles with no problem. Yesterday, in Superior, it was 61 degrees (In March????) and I did a bit over 3 miles.

And I have been writing down what I eat. And trying to be very conscious about what I am eating, and I have been staying within my points. Will wonders never cease?

Not much else to say at the moment... I think tonight is a night of watching mindless TV.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I'm fine, how are you?

The good news was that I did not have to stay for the second day of meetings in Portage. The bad news was that I got to drive home in a bit of sticky, slimy snow.

About 20 into my drive, all sorts of people are slowing down, and I see emergency lights flashing - a small silver car had flipped over in the ditch. It kind of freaked me out - so it took me a bit longer than expected to get home. Some of it was not too bad, and as I was thinking the roads were going to get better, the snow started sticking to the road again, and I was ultra paranoid going over bridges and under overpasses.

But I made it home.

I did make it onto the treadmill yesterday morning at the hotel. It was a really crappy treadmill - the guide on the deck was falling apart (one side was completely gone) and the speed control was a slider, you had to kind of guess where you wanted to set it, because it read out the MPH, but that was just off. But I did get in 40 minutes.

And today, I got home from work, put on my running clothes, and ran my 3 mile loop. And it felt better than the last time I did that. I'm looking forward to going out for a run tomorrow afternoon!

Food today was not so good. My friend and I went out to lunch at an Indian buffet. I have not had Indian food in way too long. But, I will have to say, I stopped eating when I was full. And I ate a lot of the vegetarian items. And tonight I ate a healthy salad with craisins, pine nuts and some blue cheese. I think I was justifying it somewhat, because the scale was not completely awful this morning - goes to show you what can hapen when you actually follow the WW guidelines!

We got a call from my stepson this evening, just as I was coming in from my run. He has decided that he wants to go back to school and actually finish getting his degree. Woo Hoo! I guess that his job that was supposed to give him all of these opportunities is not panning out, so he is going to get a degree. Yay education. That, and he has a girlfriend he really likes. Okay, so now I feel old...

And I'm going to go - the cat is begging for some attention.


Monday, March 05, 2007

100 calories

Okay seriously, everyone has jumped on the 100-calorie bandwagon.

On my travels, I knew I would have a fridge and a microwave in my hotel room, so I stopped at the grocery store (Super Wal-Mart...) and bought stuff for dinner and snacks, since I didn't manage to grab more from home. There are 100-calorie packs of everything now - I saw Doritos, Chetos cheese balls, Chips Ahoy, Grahm Crackers, Wheat Thins, Cheese Nips, Nutter Butters, and Hostess cupcakes. I also saw that pop secret now has 100 calorie packs of microwave popcorn. I've also seen 100-calorie lowfat granola bars. In the same vein, Quaker has a 90 calorie pack of mini rice cakes.

I admit it, I buy them. But holy cow, there sure are a lot of them out there - it makes me wonder how many people buy them, then eat the whole box.

It does make me happy to see that there are healthier/controlled portions out there. And packages that have 1 serving in them - unlike the "grab bag" of pretzels that has 2.5 servings in it. Seriously???? Who actually will eat 1 serving out of a bag like that? And how do they figure out what a serving is - is it something arbitrary that they make up to make their nutrition information look good?

In another vein, it is day 3 of counting points, again. I am feeling a little less hostile about it than I did this morning. I still don't really like it, but it's good to feel a little more in control of things. And I really did need to get back into the water and fruit/veggie habbit. Scale was down a little bit this morning, but still way higher than I would like.

No exercise today - but you can bet that I will be on the treadmill in the morning.


Somewhat better...

Yeah, so I figured out I can't just write down what I eat, I need to keep track of the points, or at least to make a good-faith effort to track points.

And I hate it.

I hate thinking about what I put in my mouth. I hate planning out what to eat. I hate packing snacks and such for when I travel. I hate measuring things. I hate feeling deprived when others are eating and drinking without a care.

But on the flip side, I HATE that I don't fit into my clothes. I hate having my photo taken - I try and hide the fact that I have a double chin (again) by lifting up my chin, and it still does not work. I hate feeling fat. And most of all, I hate it when I feel self-conscious when my husband touches me.

That being said, I had a decent weekend. I ran with the group on Saturday morning. 3 times around Lake Como without walking. That's about 4.5 miles. I also wrote down what I ate, ate a decent meal before we went out to a party, didn't drink any wine or beer (well, I had sips here and there to see what other people's drinks tasted like, but I stopped there - I knew what it tasted like, and I did not need more) .

Sunday, we ate brunch at the bowling event we attended... and I guesstimated the points, and figured I had used up all of mine for the day, and then some - so for dinner I had a salad with a bit of salad spritzer (1 calorie per spray), dill pickles, and two large cups of hot tea. Seriously... lettuce and pickles for dinner. Eric made Sesame Chicken for himself, and I think was kind of hurt that I didn't want any. But life is about choices, isn't it?

Well, traveling again this week. I get to go to Portage, WI for two days. At least the hotel has a treadmill. I just need to figure out what hours it is open, and fit it into my meeting schedule.

That being said, I need to get my rear in gear, and get on the road.


Friday, March 02, 2007

Admitting you have a problem

Hi. My name is Anneke, and it appears that I have a problem with food. As in, I like it way too much. I think I'm obsessed.

I have all sorts of good intentions, then I throw them out the window, so to speak. I told myself I would continue to exercise more consistantly - but it is really hellish to get up and onto the NordicTrack at 5:30am, especially when the house is cold, and all I seem to want to do is to crawl back into my warm bed and pull the flannel sheets over my head. And I don't seem to be able to consistantly get my rear in gear in the evenings, either. Seems like I get home from work, and my first priority is food. Making supper, or eating a snack. How do I make my first priority ME?

Who put me in this handbasket, and how can I get out?

And I was seriously hating myself for my eating habits yesterday - I thought my vendor was going to take me out to lunch, so I did not pack anything for lunch. But, we are in Minnesota, and in the midst of a rather large snowstorm. Lunch plans were cancelled. I could have gone and picked up some soup and sushi, but I had some figs in my office (and had eaten a large bowl of Wheaties for breakfast) and figured I would just go home early... then there were the potato chips I had to eat. Then there was the piece of cake from the lunchroom. Then another piece of cake... Yep, I thought one was just not enough. Then I came home, and shoveled snow. Decided it was okay to have something else, since I had "exercised" so last nights food consisted of: pretzels and pesto dip, Chicken Quesedilla Pizza Rolls, a banana with peanut butter, some light microwave kettle corn, and um, the three glasses of wine to wash it all down.

I need help. I know that. I just don't know what I want to do. I honestly don't want to go back to WW - the meeting time I can make consistantly is Saturday am, and I want to continue with the running group. Why am I obsessed with food? If I figure that out, things just might get better...


thanks for listening