Hills

I seriously thought about crawling back into bed when the alarm went off at 4:50 this morning. No that is not a typo.

But, I got dressed in my workout clothes, putzed a little, and headed out the door at 5:15. Hills were on the menu today. About a mile warmup, then I ran up the long hill by the water resevoir by my house. Definately killer - it's about 1/4 mile long and steep... and did 4 repeats.

4.3 miles in all today. And I feel strong and motivated now.

Yesterday, was a day off of working out, but I did manage to vacuum, brush the cat (who has been trying to hack up hairballs), clean up all sorts of cat barf, clean the litter, did all the laundry, and worked on my renaissance costume. And I prepped food for the grill that Eric then put on the grill for dinner: Burgers and corn. Yum.

And with that, I am off for the shower, get ready for meetings at work this morning, then I amd driving to Fargo. For three nights. Somehow, the stars aligned, and three of my S&H committees are having meetings this week in the Fargo area - one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday, and on Thursday.

I'm bringing exercise clothes, and the afgahn I need to finish, so that's what I will be doing in my free time. Along with watching some olympics. I was going to try and hold out, I hate how I get sucked into watching all that TV.... but what the heck, it doesn't happen all that often, and what else is there to do in Fargo?

Ta
~a

Closed due to vandalism

That was the sign on the bathroom in the park I ran through this morning.

It just makes me sad when things like that happen. It's a nice park, with a playground, and a fishing dock, and a nice trail around the lake - yet a few people have to screw it up for everyone.

And yes, I was out the door, and running at 5:30 this morning. 5 miles. 57 minutes. And all is well with the world.

Of course I was not feeling that last night when I finally got home at 9:30pm. I was so mentally and physically tired. And feeling a lot of self-hate, since I ate breakfast and lunch at McDonald's and for dinner, I had a small blizzard from Dairy Queen. Ah, the wonders of eating and driving. I know I could have made healthier choices, but I just had a "screw it" attitude yesterday.

I got rejection notices from both jobs I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. So I have applied more places. I just don't want to travel (driving) as much anymore, because all I do is eat crap.

And that's about all I have to say - have to get to work to get prepped for a meeting.

ta
~a

Riding the runner's high

That's where I was at 5:30am on Wednesday morning.

Tuesday was not the best. I figured out that pretty much everyone (but one) was not going to be able to make book club that evening. I guess these things happen for a reason... it was actually not that bad of a thing, since I had really done nothing to prepare (other than cleaning, which really needed to be done anyway) but it was still kind of depressing. I came home after work and did a little bit of pouting, in my own way (which consisted of drinking a couple of beers at 3 in the afternoon.)

After that, I got off my duff, and made a nice dinner for Eric and I, then I started packing for my trip to Alexandria, (MN) for meetings and team building golf.

And I hated the way that everything I put on made me look.

I have been slacking in the food department lately. I had been writing things down, and trying to be conscious of what I was eating... and the scale went down a couple of pounds, but then I just started to not care again.

I now care again. But DAMN! I hate watching what I eat.

So I got up at 4:45 on Wednesday, and ran 4 miles. And at the end, when the endorphins were kicking in, I pushed it, and rode my runner's high as long as I could. It felt great. I shall be repeating it tomorrow morning.

(I didn't go out this morning, because after a 4 mile run, a 2.5 hour drive, a meeting, a round of golf, 4 light beers, a dinner in the park, and finally being able to check into my hotel room around 8:30pm, I couldn't see my way to drag my arse out of bed. I know. Excuses will get you no where.)

On another note - I got something interesting in the mail today. I couldn't figure out who was sending me a package that felt like a catalog... so I open it up, and there is a memory card from a funeral. The gentleman we bought our house from (well, actually his kids moved him out and sold the house) passed away on June 15th. There was also a catalog and a note in the package. It read:

Dear Anneke
A while ago you kindly sent an important letter on to my father. He was happy to receive it as this information had somehow been misplaced. He had asked me to send you some steaks as a thank-you.
Sadly, Dad was in poor health this year and passed away on Father's Day. I am eclosing a gift certificate so you can make your own choices... and maybe think of Dad when you are out grilling on the patio he built.
Thank you for your kind actions.

And enclosed in the note was a gift certificate for $200.

All this for doing something I thought was no big deal, and something that was what should have been done. I forwarded on information on a life insurance policy. I guess it just goes to show you, what goes around, comes around.

On that note, it's off to bed, so I can get up and get another high in the morning!
~a

A word to describe my run this morning

that would be:

Awesome

I feel just great. 7.03 miles. I walked for a little bit, twice, to drink some water, but I averaged about 5 miles per hour. And when I was done, I felt like I could run more. I even gave it a good kick at the end.

This is why I run. Because it makes me feel strong, healthy, and that I can leap tall buildings. Nothing is impossible!

Yeah, Anneke's in a good mood today.

Eric's out fishing, and I have a ton of laundry to tackle today. I'll get that sorted and started, then I have some projects I want to work on: Pillows for the benches outside, look for the fabric and pattern for a new Renaissance outfit, and work on an afgahn.

And I think I might know why my fountain keeps losing water - more to come on that!

~a

hi

I feel like I have nothing to say as of late.

Things are things. And that's that.

Yeah, I know - criptic much?

I am signed up to run a half marathon in October. I have not been running as much as I should - but I'm still feeling the woes of the hip pull. I definately feel it when I run, and it hurts, but not that bad. And after I get some distance under my shoes, it feels better.

Then the next day, I am stiff and sore. I feel old. I sit for a bit, then when I get up, I walk hunched over until my back straightens out. It really sucks.

I did go for a pretty good run on Saturday. Went around Harriet and Calhoun. My garmin said it was 6.85 miles. Which is further than I have run since last summer, when the knee injury in August wrote an end to my marathon training. Sunday, my friend Quinn and I went kayaking from Calhoun to Lake of the Isles, to Cedar Lake, to Beaver Lake and back. It was a beautiful and gorgeous day, and I can see why people like to kayak so much.

I have been home all week (not traveling), and have worked on getting the fountain next to the patio shaped up and running. I cleaned, and etched, and plugged, and dry-locked the basin. Tonight I put water in it, and hooked up the pump. It looks like it still loses water though. I don't know what else I can do to fix it. I guess I just keep putting more water in it when it is running, so I don't ruin the pump. I am very excited to have people over for book club next Tuesday to have someone other than myself enjoy it!

Today was a really long day, mentally. I did get a nice sushi lunch out of it though - if there is one silver lining to it. Yeah, I got deposed this afternoon, for something at work, which I really can't discuss, because that is the way it goes. But, our council told me that I did a good job. I listened to the questions, and just answered the question that was asked. He said that he does not give praise lightly, and that I deserved it. It was still exhausting.

Oh yeah, and I had a couple of job interviews last week.

Heard from one that "my qualifications did not match their needs as closely as other candidates". Which I think is okay, since it is headquarted on the other side of town, and has up to 50% travel.

Still waiting to hear back from the other, which was a phone interview. I really want that job. I know I would do a good job there. Keep your fingers crossed, and sent me some good vibes that they call me in for a face-to-face interview, where I can convince them to hire me.

I suppose. Off to get some rest, so I can run in the morning... since the best of intentions to exercise after work just don't seem to pan out. Too many other distractions!

~a

What do you mean I can't run?

Well, I kind of thought that yesterday.

I got up again at 5 to do 4 miles. My hip was a bit sore, but I thought it was because I was just a little sore from running.

It hurt pretty much all day. I would get up from my desk and limp around the office.

Then I went to the chiropractor (had the appointment made already) and told him I thought I had pulled a muscle in my hip.

And then some. He said I had pulled the hip, the gluteal and some of the erector abdominals. Asked if I had been running hills. My answer? Well there are hills on my run, but nothing unusual - it's my usual route. He wasn't sure how I had managed to do what I had done... but thinking on it, it's the same hip I fell on Saturday, when I tipped over on my bike. I probably did something then, then aggrivated it by running.

So, no running for a bit. He did say I could bike. So that is what I will be doing. Good thing I like doing that too!

It is now day 3 of journaling, and staying within my points. We went to my MIL's house last night to visit, and she served us desert - a huge slice of angel food cake with strawberries and whipped cream. I ate the strawberries. And gave the rest to my husband.

As of this morning, the scale showed me down to 188. Sunday, it said I was 194.

I'm gonna try to be "good" this weekend, and not throw random alcohol and crap into my system. I will be going with journal in hand, with plans to ride my bike every day.

No coasting.
~a

4 slow ones

Miles that is.

I averaged about 4.7 mph this morning on my run. And it was good. Glad I got out of bed at 5am. Glad I didn't crawl back in bed. Glad that I still can do it. Baby steps. I could have run faster, but I didn't want to. And I ran the whole way. All 51 minutes.

I had quite the mental chat with myself this morning too. I headed out the door sans mp3 player, and enjoyed the surroundings. And I gave myself a pep talk that I have been needing. One of the reasons I wanted to lose weight in the previous round, was so that I could run, and do active things, and not feel like I was killing myself. Nothing good comes to you without challenges. I kept thinking of this quote: "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

So the new motto? No coasting.

As in - get off your ass and do something about it. Quit whining, and do what you know needs to be done. And quit feeling sorry for yourself.

Yeah, I gave myself a much needed kick in the ass. At this point it is working, I just need to get into the habit again. I have a plan. And that's how it begins.

Oh yeah, and a goal of wearing this really hot red velvet spagetti strap gown to my friend's wedding in August. 'Cause I can be a hot babe if I work at it. I want my husband to tell me I look "dangerous" again.

~a

Whistle stop

I swam laps for 1/2 an hour yesterday, which was good.

then I drank 4 calorie-laden beverages... yes. Beer. Then I fell asleep on a floatie in the pool, and sunburned the front of my thighs. Good times.

Today - I started again. I have a little notebook that I carry around with me, all set to track points, and hold myself accountable. I usually make it a day or two before I start slacking again. Baby steps. I started counting points again today, and wrote some of my thoughts down too:

"I'm done. Being fat, that is. My pants don't fit. I feel suggish, and like a turtle that can't move. My back is stiff when I sit for any period of time. And I hate feeling fat, bloated and self-conscious, like people ar looking at me and judging me."

How do I really feel. I'll take pity party for one, please.

I weighed this much when I got married.

I gained .6 pounds at the weigh in yesterday. And the first weigh in was right after I got back from vacation in Mexico. And I knew I was going to gain, but the reality slap in the face about made me cry.

My running coach e-mailed the group photo from this weekend, and my face is the roundest one there.

How did I find my way back here? I said I wouln't go back. Yet, again, here I am. Feeling sorry for myself, and hating how I feel.

So, I signed up to run a half marathon in the fall. The Whistle Stop, which is the second weekend in October in Ashland, WI.

And so it begins. Again.

~a

Wipeout

It was a crazy, mixed up, filled up day yesterday.

The plan was to get out my bicycle, and ride down to Harriet Island in St. Paul to cheer on people from my running group that were doing the Time to Fly 5K and 10K.

Downstairs to get my bicycle tires all aired up and ready to go... and the rear tire would not hold any air. Crap. Gotta change the tube. I knew I had a tube somewhere... found it in the garage. Now what? I have never changed a tire tube before. I seemed to recall watching a friend of mine do it with some funky tool... so I grab something from the coffee table downstairs that looked similar to what I remembered his tool looking like. What did I grab? That would be a crochet hook. I did it. I changed it all by myself. I didn't let the obstacle in my path keep me from my plans.

I got to Harriet Island in fine time - most of the 7 miles are downhill, after all. And had a fine line of sight to see the Excel Energy smokestack be imploded and taken down. It was cool. But also a little unsettling, as this last week I had been in classes for emergency response, and a lot of the stuff we talked about was things that have happened - like the OK city bombing, and 9/11, and watching the stack fall was kind of cool and creepy at the same time.

But, all of my friends had a great time running the race. I suppose I could have run, but I have decided I will be saving up for a half marathon in the fall, instead of paying for races throughout the summer. Heaven knows I don't need more T-shirts. And interesingly enough, as we were cheering for the women in our group, Lucas runs by... the same lady I saw in the airport in Tulsa... So I went over and congratulated her. She did really awesome too.

After that, it was back on the bicycle for the ride home. Just as I was coming up to the Wabasha bridge, I was just a little too indecisive about being on the road, or getting on the sidewalk, so I managed to hit the curb with the side of my front tire, and fall over onto the sidewalk. Pretty much in front of the cop who was manning a baracade for the race. Damn toe clips. Yeah, I was fine after I got myself untangled a bit, but my hip and wrist are a little sore this morning. I've had worse. It's still embarassing though.

Today, I am on my way to my friend's pool, hopefully to swim some laps. On the way there, I will be stopping in for the final weigh-in for this contest I entered. yeah, to see who can be the biggest loser. I can tell you right now, it won't be me. I'll probably be the biggest gainer, since I think I am up 5 pounds from where we started 4 months ago. I need to get my ass in gear, and start walking the talk. I have been so half-assed and ambivalent about my diet/exercise, and my pants don't fit. I was feeling like a "fat american" in Calgary all this week, and I hate it. Yet, I don't seem to be doing much about it. What gives?

I'm thinking about going back to a WW meeting, as that is what has worked before. Who knows what the future will bring.

on that note, I'm off to ofically become the big gainer (loser) of this contest.
~a

Why I like to run in the morning

1. It starts the day out, and gives me much energy
2. When I run in the afternoon I start out too quickly, and tank
3. It's much cooler in the morning
4. I'm not always awake, so I don't always notice the first mile, which is the hardest part


Why I didn't run this morning:
1. I woke up at 4am worried about my cat, got up and read some, then crawled back into bed at 4:30 after turning off the 5am alarm.
2. I could have gone at 4:30... but honestly I was scared to go out in the dark after what happened this weekend.

What happened this weekend? Well, it was a doozy.

I was at my friend's house, and I stayed there because I had enough to drink that I didn't want to drive. (not as much as another person there... but that's another story). I called my husband the next day (Sunday) and he told me that I had missed the fireworks at home.

"Fireworks? Really?" thinking that some kids had been shooting off bottle rockets in the wee hours.

But no. Gunfire. Right outside the house.

Like Eric called the Police in the morning after it started getting light because he thought they might like to pick up the shell casings that were in the street in front of our garage. They missed one or two, so Eric brought one in yesterday afternoon. It's from a .45. I'm just a tad freaked out.

So I went running this afternoon, and it kind of sucked. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I haven't run since Saturday the 31st. Or that I gave blood last week. Or that I now weigh about 20 pounds more than I did last year at this time...

Yeah.

I just need to suck it up, and do what I need to do.
~a

180

I was completely stressed out and overwhelmed last night.

I thought, hey, I'd go through the practice questions they give you for the exam in the application materials, and have a low-key evening, to bed early so I would be fresh in the morning for my certification exam.

The questions were hard.

And I couln't figure out what they were looking for, or what direction to go in. And I still got the answers wrong when I looked at the solutions (ok cheating) in the back. 55% was my score on the practice exam.

I just wanted to cry.

So up this morning, make some coffee, eat some breakfast, get ready to go... then I thought I should have some documentation for the test which I couldn't find for a bit... then I had 40 minutes to get to West Bloomington by 8am. I knew I was in trouble when the freeway sign said it was 17 minutes to get to my exit, and it was 7:47am...

I was a terrible rush hour driver. Swearing, yelling, cadjoling the traffic to move a bit faster, and almost ending up in tears again. Following my directions after the exit, in the parking ramp, went out the wrong door... then ended up RUNNING through the parking ramp to get to the testing location. Yeah. If you are more than 15 minutes late, they won't let you take the test, and you forfeit your $310 registration fee. 8:12am, I walked through the door.

Whew.

5 1/2 hours later, 1 potty break, with the timer on the test telling me I had 50 seconds left, I clicked the "submit exam" button on the screen. It told me:

Result: PASS

Again, I almost cried. With relief. With joy and happiness. With a huge grin on my face. I now get to put letters behind my name: CSP. Certified Safety Professional.

Called my husband, he was very happy. Called my parents. Mom said she was proud of me. I'm just so happy/relieved right now. So glad it's over. So glad I passed. So glad I don't have to do it again.

The only question is:

What next?

~a

Back in the Game

a week later, I go for another run.

And again, it feels great to get out in the morning and accomplish something. I was going to go last night, but I had a meeting at work that lasted, it seemed, forever, and by the time it was done, all I wanted to do was eat some dinner and get some studying done.

Yep. Studying. I haven't said a lot about it, but I am taking a certification exam on Friday. So I can officially put some letters behind my name. Cross your fingers and wish me luck, will you?

The weekend was fun. My sister was really suprised, and a little freaked out by me showing up - I walked in the front door, and found her on the patio out back with my parents. When she saw me she jumped up and gave me a big hug, and asked me what I was doing there... it was fun.

So we helped her get all ready for the party, and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, making sure there were drinks available for all of the people. I did break down, and have a little bit of wine, even though it's not June yet, but I just had one glass. And lots and lots of water.

On the way home, sitting in the airport waiting for the flight to be called, I looked around... and saw someone I knew. It's so weird when that happens. Sitting there, wating to get on the same flight was Lucas, someone I know through the blogger network. She has family that lives in the Tulsa area too... not something that we knew about each other, so it was kind of a shock.

Anyway, I need to hop in the shower and get off to work. More meetings....
~a

Blek

I'm getting sick.

and it sucks. Coughing and congestion. Fun and excitement.

I talked to my boss today about career planning. And the direction that I want to go in - and he seemed amenable, and he would look into how I could go in that direction.

I know, it seems cryptic. But I don't know what will happen. I'm still leaving my options open, because it would still mean travel, but it would be less driving.

And eating today kind of sucked. Not that I ate lots of crap, I just ate too much food in general. And I didn't go running, because of this damn cough.

Boy aren't I the cheerful one today?

~a

A wild hair

I somehow got one...

Reading my e-mails, I got one for last minute travel deals, so I thought - hmmmm wonder what it would be to go to my sister's for the weekend.

So $402 later, and a flight and a rental car all paid for, I am going for the weekend. My sister is having a party for the family celebrating "99 years of life". My sister was planning a suprise birthday party for my BIL's 40th birthday, which was in September of last year, but with his horrific accident and recovery, he was lucky to get out of the inpatient rehab to have dinner out with his family on his 40th. So after my sister's 40th, and to celebrate that John is recovering (he's back at work and everything) and my two nieces are 8 and 11, they are celebrating a total of 99 years.

But she doesn't know I'm coming. My parents, who will be there, know I am coming, but I am just going to show up on her dorstep on Friday evening.

We're that kind of family. For my mom's retirement, I suprised her with my sister. For my bridal shower I was suprised by my sister being there. So I will suprise her in Oklahoma.

And on the exercise eating front. It's actually been a pretty good week. I am feeling a lot better about myself. My mother is calling it "mindful eating" and making healthy choices and being happy about it. Like today - I met my co-worker for breakfast at his hotel. And I had oatmeal. At the meeting where they had decadent pastries, I had mixed fruit. For lunch, I had a turkey sandwich, and avoided the potato chips and the cookie, and for dinner, when we went out, I had a salad with grilled chicken, and stopped when I was full. And I am feeling strong and in control.

And I like it.

May it continue. Tomorrow, I shall run again. And it will be GREAT!

~a

0530

Yes, that was the time I went out my front door to run.

3 easy miles. And I ran the whole way. Not fast. I am not working on fast right now - I just want to get in some milage, and work on my target heart range.

It was a beautiful morning, I had great music in my ears, and it was nice to get out and clear my head. I couln't sleep last night with all of the stuff running through my head, so that makes it doubly good that I got my rear out of bed and out the door to run.

I believe I am going to sign up to do a duathalon in September. 2 mi run/22 mi bike/2 mi run. At some point I think I would like to try a triathalon, but right now I don't have a good place to swim on a regular basis. Yes, I have a friend with a pool, but it's kind of short for laps, and it's a good 20 minute drive to get there.

This week has all sorts of meetings, so eating will be a challenge. Not that it's never a challenge, but you know - it's harder when you have no say in the food selection. Add into it the donuts and rolls they seem to always put out. Note to self: bring own fiber bars and fruit.

that will be all.
~a

Green?

My mother and I went to the Green Expo at the State Fair grounds on Saturday, and sat through a talk on freezing and canning vegetables. It was interesting, but geared towards the folks that had never done anything of the sort before. My mother who has had a garden and has canned food since before I even remember doing it, was having a small conversation with the lady sitting next to her - answering the questions she was asking about canning.

But, we both learned at least one thing, so it was worth it.

After the workshop, we did a little walking around the exhibits, but there were way too many people there, so we left.

It was a good thing there was another day, because I wanted to see some more of the booths. I had looked through the program and there were some things that I wanted to look at yet. So I talked Eric into going the next morning, getting there earlier (before there was too many people there).

And I got it. One thing that will make my life easier/better: the BagEwash

I took it for a test run in the dishwasher, and it worked like a charm. Now I can get rid of the pile of bags on my kitchen counter, waiting for me to handwash them.

Yeah. I'm weird. I get excited over odd things.

Now I just need to green up my diet.

~a

shiny new toy

Last night, after making lemon cookies and coconut bars for my husband*, I put the cadence/speed monitor on my bicycle... but it was late at that point, so I didn't try it out with the Garmin.

But tonight, after my outing to get Mother's day cards, and a plant for my grandmother, and some items at Target (brought my own bags again! I am trying to see how long I can go without getting another bag at a store) I got on my cycling clothes, and headed to the basement to watch Grey's anatomy and ride my bike with the new toy. I couldn't get it to read on the watch, so I had to find the Garmin user's manual to see how to set the darn thing.

And then it started working! Yay me! I biked 46 minutes, burned 799 calories, and went over 12 miles. Not bad.

Tomorrow, after work, I am going to St. Cloud to pick up my mother, and she will be staying here so we can go to the Green Expo on Saturday morning. My dad has a meeting Saturday morning, then he will be coming to the 'Cities, and we are having a family-type get together in the afernoon at my aunt's house. My other aunt, who lives in Ohio will be in town for work, and we are going to visit and catch up. I'm bringing a caesar salad. I have the romaine and the parmesan, and I am going to try my hand at caesar dressing made from scratch. Should be interesting.

I seem to be getting into the whole unprocessed, prepare from scratch food lately. I REALLY want to get myself a yogurt maker. Part of it is because I am cheap. Part of it is because it's healthier. And part of it is because you can't recycle the yogurt containers you get from the store. I think I'm going a little nutty with the "green" thing, but hey, what can I say. We read the book The World Without Us, by Alan Weisman for book club in April, and even if some of it is exaggerated, there's got to be some truth in in it. And every little bit helps, right?

Anyhoo, Eric wants the computer, so I'm off.

~a

*So when I was putting away the leftover stroganoff last night, I asked Erid if he would be eating it for lunch the next day. His answer - no, because we are having a cookout and a potluck, and I need to bring something to share... To be fair, I did volunteer to make him something because I knew I would be home, and I like baking, but still - some warning would have been nice. And it was better than the typical male offering of a bag of chips

so many things

running through my head.

and I don't know how I want to organize them all...

Hmmm, let's see - weightloss. Nada. I guess that is what happens when you just quit trying, and decide that you just need to eat whatever whenever. I keep cruizing through the kitchen, opening the door of the fridge, and seeing what I can eat. Do I take the apple or the mandarin oranges? No. I take the white cheddar cranberry cheese and a handful of TJ's everything crackers. A bit later - some Ice cream. And a bit later, some cookies...

I started writing things down on Monday at work, but I forgot my little notebook on my desk. I had a fabulous day on Monday anyway. But since I was out of the office on Tuesday, without my accountability notebook... I decided to get the Rachel sandwich with fries for lunch.

Feast or famine. That seems to be my thing. Not sure how to get over it.

Exercise. Well, now that you asked, I did get up this morning, and did a easy 30 minutes on the NordicTrack, without the arms. And a little ab work. So when was the last time I did actual exercise? Well that would be a week and a half ago. My back has been hurting me, and I have been icing and seeing the chiropractor, but geez, I really need to get off my arse. I guess the CRAPTASTIC weather (Snow? Seriously, on April 26th???) has been getting me down too.

But, on a positive note, I have been trying to do my part in saving the environment. The last two times I have gone to the grocery store, I have brought my canvas reusable bags, and some of the plastic bags we already have, and have not gotten any new bags at all. And I went shopping at Dick's Sporting goods, and brought my own bag for my purchases. The clerk thought I was a bit odd, but I felt good about it.

There is also a Green Expo this weekend, that I am hoping that I can convince my husband to take me to - I would like to go to a couple of seminars, on vegetable gardeining, and home freezing and canning. And I want to wander through the exibits.

Oooh, I got a couple of new incentive toys... a foot pod and a cadence/distance (bicycle) for my Garmin 305... I got them off of Amazon with some gift certificates I earned, and ended up paying just $17 for both, including the shipping! I need to get them all set up so I can start logging my indoor workouts on the computer. I think I need to start working on keeping my heart rate in a better zone. I tend to exercise too hard, and that is probably something that is holding me back... well, from losing weight that is.

And, at a meeting today, there was some discussion on doing a Weight Watchers at Work program. Not sure how I feel about that.

I'm also considering joinin a gym again. I kind of liked going in this winter when I had the free trial to do weigtlifting, and if I join a certan local chain, I could potentially meet up with some of my friends to exercise. We'll see - the whole reason I quit last time was that I didn't go in the summertime. Too many other options out there, and it's a bit of a hassle to go early, when I could just as easily do cardio at home in the morning when I like working out.

I have also been sending out my resume for jobs in the metro area. I want to do somehing different, that doesn't have all of the travel. I have not gone anywhere overnight for the past two weeks, and it is so nice to be able to go home, relax, cook some dinner, and be in my house with my husband. We actually sat down and ate dinner together on Monday.

I told you things were rambling around in my brain...

Cat - she seems like she is doing okay, but after many unsuccessful attempts of jumping onto the bed in the bedroom, she has stopped doing it. Which means she has not been cuddling with me at night or in the morning. I can't decide if I should take her back to the vet for him to tell me to give her more drugs that she will hate me for... maybe if we put up the cheater step again she will deign to use it again.

Alcohol - haven't had a drink since Easter when I thought it would be a good idea to drink the equivalent of about two bottles of wine. I'm holding out for June, at the earliest... but I have been thinking about having a nice glass of wine quite a bit lately. I kind of feel like I should apologize to my SIL for the Easter debacle (she's a recovering alcoholic, and I was drinking my face off in front of her) or to just let it lie. I also have a friend who recently admitted herself to an in-patient treatment program for alcohol addiction, so I have been thinking about her a lot lately too, with my self imposed "dry-out" period.

I suppose that's enough for now. Eric is home now, and I am going to put together some dinner. Beef Stroganoff in the crock pot that has been simmering all day. MMMMMMM.

~a

Reflections

I think I need to institute a no eating rule in my car.

I drive. And I eat.

I have been reading some things, and I think that the reason I do it is because I hate driving so much. Okay, I'll clarify. I hate all of the driving I do for work. It really hit home today, with hitting the crappy weather here in Minnesota on the way home. And I think I am eating because I want to make myself feel different. So I snack on things while I drive to distract myself from the driving.

And I seem to be in a really good mood on most Fridays, knowing I don't have to go anywhere for a couple of days.

I really hate when people ask me if I like traveling for work, thinking it is glamorous, and that you get to go to all of these interesting places. You might get to go to interesting places, but you rarely get to do anything other than go to meetings, try to find somewhere to get something decent to eat, and spend way too much time on a computer trying to get caught up after being out of touch for most of the day.

How do I really feel?

I like what I do, but I hate the driving. Something has to give.

~a

Hi, My name is Anneke

And I seem to have no self control.

So, packing up to go to Green Bay for the weekend, I felt a twinge in my back. The 5 hours in the car did not help any. When we would stop (dinner, fuel, bathroom...) Eric and I would get out of the car and hobble around for a bit until we started walking like normal Homo Sapiens.

Yeah. Shooting pain in my back did not make me happy. Did not allow me to exercise like I had planned. (They had an endless pool at the hotel I REALLY wanted to try.) Didn't find a nice park/green area in Green Bay in which to go for a run. Ate way too much food, and watched too much TV.

I think I have a pinched nerve. The back of my left heel is numb. And on and off, a couple of toes on my left foot.

And I don't seem to be able to regulate my food intake. I seem to NEED to munch on something while driving. Not sure why.

What does this add up to? Okay... Weight gain.

Life sucks sometimes.

And even though my back is not hurting, the heel is still numb, and I'm scared to exercise.

Did I mention that life sucks sometimes?

Oh yeah, and I'm in Fargo. The hits just keep on coming.

~a