Life in general

I am not as motivated to run as I was. My friend who was planning on running with me, is not going to be running the half marathon. Life has just intervened with her, and she does not feel that she will be ready to run. I guess this is what happens when you are a single parent with four children, and two jobs.

Although, one of the jobs was as a WW leader... and she is now "on leave" because she is not at her goal weight. I know it sounds harsh, but one of the stipulations about working for WW is that you need to maintain at goal, or if you don't you need to work at getting back to goal. And I know from experience that it is hard. You need the time to be able to do it. And the drive and motivation. I just hope that she will use this as an opportunity to get some "me" time for herself.

I just know that I have not run a long race without her, and she was always my cheerleader and motivatior at the end, telling me that I could do it. I am actually not sure how well things will go without her. But, you never know until you know, and you will never know if you don't try.

My eating has been all over the place lately. Like last night - I got home and made some squash fries. And drank some of the leftover punch from the party (Rhubarb punch made with Splenda and diet soda though, so very low in calories). Then I decided I wanted a treat. Reached for the frozen yogurt (better choice than the ice cream) and loaded it with toppings... pretty much negated the choice of frozen yogurt. Although, at the study session that evening, I avoided the cookies, chips and seven-layer dip. And when I got home, I did not eat the pizza that Eric had made for himself. I had two glasses of water, then a snack bag of healty pop kettle corn, and when the water was not helping with the hungry feeling, a 100 cal granola bar.

Carbs and sugar anyone?

I am planning on getting to the Y to run on the treadmill this afternoon. It's supposed to be rainy, and I plan on only doing 4 miles, which is doable on the treadmill. I also want to push myself a bit, and up my speed some... plus I probably should use the membership since I am paying for it!

Dinner, I would like to cook the tuna steak I have defrosted in the refrigerator... but I have a Jaycee general membership meeting at 6 tonight - not sure if I can fit cooking into the schedule at this point. I know there will be appetizers at the meeting... but again, carbs and fat anyone?

*sigh* what's a girl to do?

I am also a little worried about trying to get a run in this weekend. Eric and I are heading up to Duluth on Saturday morning to go fishing, and we will be staying Saturday night. I will just need to strap on my shoes and motivate myself to run early, before he gets going/ready to go.

I guess the most impressive thing I have to say is that even with all of the food detours, I am still at a holding pattern of 180 on the scale at home. 20 pounds over my goal. But hell, I can run seven miles...

~a