Ug

And where has the motivation gone?

It's been kind of an interesting day. Interesting bad, or interesting good?

I don't know. And that's really what I am struggling with. And yes, I ended a sentence with the word "with". I keep bugging Eric about that, trying to improve his grammar.

Yep. It's a little after 10 on a Friday. Figured I would catch up on some blogs and blogging before I delt with some bills. Also drinking a glass of wine. On the night before WI no less...

So today. I don't know why I get so tired when I do training for a big run. I seem to need WAY more sleep than a normal person when I start doing runs of more than 3 or 4 miles a couple of times a week. Yep. Did not get up this morning to run, even though it would have been GORGEOUS. Actually got into work at about 7:30am, did some clean-up from being gone for a day and a half, set up a meeting with 4 very busy people, talked to my boss... then left at 10 or so to trade vehicles at home, to then go to the funeral.

Okay, funerals are not supposed to be fun. Well, in the literal sense of the word. But, it was nice being with my friend, and showing support, and to see some people I might not otherwise seen. We made several toasts at the lunch afterwards, glad that I had gone home to get personal vehicle, rather than driving the company vehicle (not that I had more than 1 beer, really) but it was a little odd drinking at lunchtime, knowing that I was going to go back into the office. I can honestly say that I have not done that before. That being said, I am glad that I went to the funeral, and got to see/talk to the people that I did. Always nice to see and catch up with people you have not seen in a while.

After work, I was TIRED. Eric had called me when he was going home, and said he was planning on taking a nap before going where he needed to go for the evening. Sounded so good, we crawled into bed and cuddled and slept from about 4:15 until 6. I was thinking about going with him, but decided to veg at home and sort through the mail and bills that have been accumulating in the last week.

An interesting day....

Yep. I did not go for a run. It's in the plan for tomorrow, I swear. The scedule says 4, but I am thinking I need to up that. Feeling a bit like a slug.

Blek.

And I have spoken.

And I have to figure out if I am truly going to loose the weight I have gained back, or to just decide that I am going to hang out here. Man it is so hard... I want to lose 20-30 pounds, but the maintenance at that weight is so much more difficult than maintaining at this weight. What's a body to do. Where do I really want to be? And the honest answer - I don't know.

and to sum it up, Ug.

~a

He said, She said

So Eric and I get home last night to a message on the machine from my Mother-in-Law...

Evidently she had talked to Eric's older sister, Chris (not the one in the previous posting, but the one in California) who had talked to Curt (my stepson) who had told Chris that April (my stepdaughter) is planning on getting married sometime this spring.... did you follow that? Anyway, she heard in a roundabout way that her grandaughter is planning on getting married, and was a bit flabbergasted that nobody had seen fit to tell her. Eric, darling man that he is, talked to his mother on SUNDAY, but neglected to share this information, even though we have known about it for over a month. Men. Don't know what is really important - this is why they don't usually make good gossips!

So Eric tried calling her, and she was not home (out for a walk) and when she got home, she called back. Eric tells her that he does not have a phone number for his daughter. (Why would he want to have her phone number???) I say, of course we have her phone number, so Eric hands me the phone to talk and give the info. We of course talk about Eric and of course he did not mention anything on Sunday... he's Eric!

We also talked about the other sister, the one who is in town and WAS cleaning my house. I have decided that I just don't want to take the chance again with her, and will be asking for the key to the house back. In her younger years, she stole sporting equipment and other such valuables from her family to pawn to get drug money. I believe she owed so much money at one point that of the dealers stole her mother's car, while her mother was driving it. Basically just took her out of the car, and drove off in the car, leaving her mother at the side of the road. So it is not just any one isolated incident. After, she feels guilty and miserable and promises not to do it again, and you go a while to the point where you think things have changed, and it happens again.

Again, when she is clean, she is a great person. When she is using, it is another thing altogether. I really think she has underlying issues that she needs to deal with before she can put her life back together. It is just sad that she uses mind-altering substances to deal with her life. I know some of us turn to food, and that is also a form of addiction, but who really resorts to stealing money to get a twinkie fix?

And it also bothers me that because we have more money/posessions than they do, that they seem to assume that we will help them out and take care of them (Eric's sisters). Excuse me, but I have worked darn hard to have the things that we do - and I am not working so that my relatives can live off of my generosity.

I just hope Lisa realizes that I don't hate her. I think we need to have a frank conversation about how I feel about what she did, and that I am not going to "enable" her to do this sort of thing in the future.

Anyway - here's something else to ponder: Why do they have funerals on Fridays? I dressed appropriately to go to my friend's father's funeral at 11, but since it is "Casual Friday" everyone here at the office is asking me why I am dressed up. Then you tell them that you are going to a funeral, and they get all apologetic.

And of course, you want to know about the running. Yes I ran yesterday, 4 miles on the Treadmill. At the YMCA in Fargo. I got up early yesterday morning, and went looking for the exercise room at the hotel. I was told it was locked, and that the guy who could open it up was taking someone to the airport and would be back in 20-30 minutes. Yah right. Hellooooooo, I am wearing exercise clothes here... I am on a schedule, and really can't spare the 30 minutes to wait! So I rolled my eyes in exasperation, went back to my room, put on sweatpants and my jacket and drove over to the Y. Yay me. I did not use that as an excuse not to exercise.

And this afternoon, I will get in a 6-mile run. Promise.

ta!
~a

Once again, life is like a soap opera

I swear, I have more drama in my life because of Eric's sisters.

A little background: Eric's younger sister now lives in the Twin Cities area, and I have been paying her to come and clean my house every two weeks or so, so we can help her out, and so I get cleaning done without having to do it all myself (she does the bathrooms, sweeps, mops, vacuums, general cleaning...). She was not able to make it on the appointed day (ill) and since I was having people to the house on both Saturday and Sunday that weekend, Eric and I did a pretty thorough cleaning ourselves, plus post-party cleanup, things were pretty good. She called up and asked if she could come and clean, because she needed the money to pay for her prescriptions... Okay, so I ask her to come and do some seasonal cleaning (windows, inside and out, dusting the curio cabinet, etc) and leave her a list with the agreed amount of cash.

I came home from work after she was supposed to be there, and the money was gone, but none of the work was done. Needless to say, I was not pleased. At all. She called a couple of days later and left a message on the machine to have Eric call her, because she screwed up. He was thinking that she got arrested again, or something like that... since she got herself thrown in jail over this last New Year's, and it would not be out of the realm of possibilities.

So last night, Eric finally got a hold of his sister. He talked to her on the phone while I was sitting next to him, so I got to hear the whole conversation. She came into the city that morning, with the intentions of hooking up with a guy that morning at his house, and he wasn't there, and he wasn't there, and so on, so she started drinking. Came to the house, took the money, and evidently spent it on more booze and drugs. Ended up parked next to some park because she needed to sleep off the alcohol because she was too drunk to drive, then went home at some point. She said that she was truly sorry, and she knows that she really messed up, and promises that it will never happen again. She also said that if I wanted to call her, she would fess up and explain the whole thing to me too (not knowing that I could hear her already), but she wanted to talk to Eric first, which is why she asked him to call her, rather than me. I think she might be a little scared of me.

I don't know if I want to believe her. I have definately given her the benefit of the doubt several times before. When she has her shit together, she can be a good person, a hard worker, etc., but when she is using, as per the norm with addicts, you can't trust her further than you can throw her. She is the same person that stole money out of my wallet when she was staying with us. She did pay me back and apologize, when she was going through the rehab program at Hazeltine (and no, she did not run into James Frey there), and she was clean and sober for over two years. I just don't know what has happened. I'm actually not sure that I want to get into the details of her life, it's just so far from mine. Although I suppose I can identify with some of her feelings of inadequacy, and using sex, drugs and booze to try and make yourself feel better.

I guess I am saying that I feel used. We were trying to help her out of a bind, or so I assumed, and she took our generosity, and misused it. She is on a fixed income (she actually has a mental disability that she turns catatonic when dealing with "stress" and cannot hold a "real" job), and I wanted to help her out. And I really think that you should not shit on your family. I, perhaps am not a "real" christian, because my capacity for forgiveness is limited. But then again, if I know it is going to happen again, why forgive and forget to just go to gnashing your teeth again when they do it to you again?

My SIL would like to continue cleaning our house. She asked if she could come this Friday, to do the cleaning she was supposed to do last week. Do I let her? Do I ask for the key back, and only let her come when I am home? Do we tell her we will only let her come back if she starts attending AA meetings again? How do I start trusting her again, and if I do, will it be worth it?

It's a dilemma. And I hate that she has put me into this position, again.

Sigh.

On that note, need to get some stuff accomplished before I need to leave - traveling to the exotic port of Fargo today. Yay.

Oh, and I got in a 5-mile run this morning. Did not go out yesterday, I could not motivate myself, darn it! But the run took me a little over 52 minutes, and I felt pretty good doing it.

(I could not post without talking about running, I really am truly obsessed!)

Ta!
~a

Phone calls

I feel like I need to remove the phone from my ear...

Having some customer service issues. Let's see - sent phone and cable e-payments through my bank. Two weeks later, they have not been taken out of my account, so I get concerned.

I called the cable company this morning to see if they had recieved the payment yet. They had not. But since it was 6:30 am, my bank was not open to talk to them. So this afternoon, I got home and called the bank - the checks had not been cashed yet, so I have them stop the payments, and I am resending them. Call the cable company to tell them what is happening, so they can make a note on the account, and they have a check that they recieved today that is pending. I then call the bank to see if they can stop the stop payment. Turns out they can't, they used to, but had "too many issues with stopping stop payments so we stopped stopping stop payments". Gotta love when the bankers have a sense of humor (and it's kind of cool when you tell the person your name, they know exactly who you are and ask you how you are doing).

After finding out this tidbit of information, I call back the cable company, and just give them a credit card number to charge the amount I owe to try and head off any charges for having a check refused payment, I have to explain the situation to the first person, who transfers me to another person, who takes care of the cable bill, then I get transferred to the phone person who can then take care of the phone bill. Anyway, I hope that heads off any charges they might try to put on my account. Really, I was trying to get everything straightened out!

It's been a long couple of days, and it's only Tuesday afternoon!

Sunday, Eric and I ended up going to Ikea, and getting some roman blinds, and night stand lamps for our bedroom. I was planning on making the roman shades, but this is so much easier, and really, for $75 total, I think it was worth it - I am proably going to cover these shades with the material I purchased anyway, so they will then be lined roman shades, and waaaaaay easier on me. It also gets rid of the bedsheet we had stuffed in the window since we had the windows replaced 6 months ago.... and amongst all of the shopping and redecorating, and laundry, and of course the procrastination, I did not get a run in on Sunday.

I was planning on going yesterday, but got stuck on a project at work that kept me in the office until after 5, then had a Jaycees board meeting at 6, so I did not get out running yesterday either.

Today, since I was in at 6am, I am home now, taking care of some personal stuff, and I have a 4-mile run planned. I will go out and do it, really. I think I might also be going a little too quickly, I picked the Intermediate program, because the Novice program seemed like it was just too easy. I think I needed something in between the two, so I will be trying to get in the miles, but may cut down some of the longer scheduled workouts a mile or two until I get my legs under me a bit better. Although, I do notice that I seem to be getting a better quality of sleep lately, so that is a positive.

After the run this afternoon, finishing some laundry is definately on the schedule. I have done 7 loads so far this week. How can 3 people make so many dirty clothes?

Well, I need to run - literally!

ta!
~a

There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.

I gotta go find me a better kind of running bra. That is what is on the agenda for this weekend.

And some more exercise clothes. If I am going to be running every day, I need to have more, since I cannot seem to get laundry done more often.

So I did manage to get up yesterday morning at O-God-Early to run on the treadmill. I was the first one in the exercise room, so I got the good treadmill - the other 3 seem to have issues with static electicity shorting them out and resetting on people. And I really think my theory is correct - I ran my 7miles with not much problem, and then went dancing down the hallway to my music after I was done, and on my way back to my room. It put me in such a good mood. Amazing what a good workout will do for you.

The training went well also, seems it just gets easier with every class, and the evaluations on the classes were very positive about my presentation. I know I don't really like doing training, but I seem to be good at it. Although, getting up in front of people just is not as bad as it used to be, I don't get as nervous.

So here's one of my random thoughts: When I went shopping on Tuesday evening, I noticed an advertising flier under the wiper of the car I parked next to in the lot. It said to arrange a psychic reading, you were to contact this person. My thought is: since they are a psycic, do they only put the leaflets on the cars of people that are going to call them?

So today, I actually got up fairly early, but decided to snuggle with Eric instead of going running in the cold 33 degree weather. I got into the office earlier than normal, and have my gym bag packed to do my "easy" 4 miles after work, before our appointment with our financial advisor, then it will be off to the movie theater to see "V for Ventetta".

Anyway, more work stuff to tackle, hopefully I will not have any more annoying phone calls... why do people insist on calling me when they have benefit questions? For goodness sakes, I do safety, not health benefits. Yes you might think they are related, but in actuality they are totally seperate.

ta!
~a

I have a theory about this...

And yet another movie quote. I bought the movie yesterday, and watched it in the airport while I waited for my flight - through volunteering my seat twice, and getting $600 in flight vouchers. Not a bad day's afternoon! The cool thing about watching movies on you laptop is that you can do actual work at the same time, so I got a few things work-like done too. And what movie is it, you ask? Well it was released in 2005 - that is your clue.

So my theory: I truly, truly, truly exercise best in the am. When I drag my bottom out of bed and get in gear, it works out so much better than noontime, or in the afternoon. Not sure why, since most of the stuff I read talks about how much better people's performance is in the afternoon, but that is just not me. Was on the dreaded hotel treadmill this morning at 5:30am. The schedule had a "pace" run of 4 miles today. Warmed up at 5.2 for half a mile, then pushed it up to 5.8, and was even able to sustain 6 mph for over a mile. Yay me. Felt absolutely wonderful, I am not tired today, did not need the coffee to wake me up, etc etc etc. And, I have the whole evening to putz around here in Chicagoland. I am planning on picking up my book club book somewhere, and then going to find something to eat.

I also behaved myself in the training today, and avoided eating a muffin that was almost as big as my head. Instead, I brought a packet of Quaker Instant Oatmeal, and had that instead. Of course, about an hour and a half into the class, I noticed there was a clot of oatmeal smack dab in the middle of my chest. Do you think anyone pointed it out to me? Of course not, every one else in the room was male, and they just don't do that sort of thing. I mean, would a guy go up to a woman in the airport and tell her that she had TP on the bottom of her shoe like I did yesterday? No, I feel that if they DID notice, they would just point and laugh.

I cannot seem to connect up in my hotel room, so I had to go into the office here in Chicago after the training to get access to my e-mail and such - am planning on busting out soon!

There is a 7-mile run on the schedule tomorrow, so I need to go to bed early to get up extra early to get that in. And yes, it will be on the treadmill. Good thing the gym at the hotel is open 24 hours a day! Perhaps I will get in a bit of hottubbing tonight to get all relaxed, and the Sheraton beds are quite comfortable!

That's about it. I'm off!

~a

Run Forrest, Run!

Not that I have ever had a desire to watch this movie, I thought the quote was appropriate.

I asked my husband yesterday if I was obsessed. I feel obsessed. I feel like my life is revolving around running right now. Not that that is a bad thing, as obsessions go....

Can I say, running on a treadmill vs outside really sucks. I know sometimes you have no other option if you want to get the miles in, but anything more than 3 or 4 miles just bites the big one. I think it has to do with the fact that you have no ups and downs (hills) and you run at one unchanging, unwavering pace.

I did my 6 miles on the treadmill on Friday. At the Y. It took me an hour and 8 minutes. The last 8 minutes was a trial, since they set the maximum time on the treadmill for 60 minutes, and technically, I was running in the Warm Down time. This meant that every minute, the treadmill slowed down, and I had to bump up the speed again. Yep, no fun.

Eric and I went to the car show in the evening then. I got to sit in some cute cars - really wish I would have been able to test drive some of them. About 9:30, I really started fading quickly, so we went home and crawled into bed.

I was just worn out and sore on Saturday, after the 6 miles on Friday. I did not feel that way after I ran 6 miles outside... and I did it faster when I was outside. I decided I was going to opt out of running that day, and instead, I would concentrate on getting my house ready for my Pampered Chef party. It went off pretty well, even if I did drink 3 beers, and then decided I needed junk food...

Sunday, I laid in bed, watching TV for a while, then decided I needed to get my rear in gear and hit the pavement for the prescribed 6-mile run. (or more, if you feel like it - according to the schedule...) So I headed out all ready to do about 7 miles.

Was not feeling the running love at all. Usually, it takes a while to get in the groove, so I was trying to get past that, but 2.5 miles it, was still not feeling it.... It just was like the universe was telling me that I should just go home. Somewhere in the first mile, I lost my scarf. Noticed it was gone just past my first mile marker. Debated with myself, and figured I would look for it on the way home. The path around the lake was not cleared very well, so I was running pretty gingerly. I need to retire the pair of shoes I was wearing, since my feet were kind of hurting me almost into two miles into the run (shoes are ones that correct you from rolling your feet towards the instep, and I tend to run on the outsides of my feet. Got the shoes before I discovered the correct type, but they WERE still pretty comfortable) The underwear I chose were giving me fits, and trying their best to fall down on me. Thankfully, I was wearing running tights that prevented them from going anywhere really nasty, but still had to adjust them several times - thankfully the path is pretty wooded, so there were no witnesses. At about 2.5 miles, my digital music player's battery went dead. After that, I stepped in a puddle that was deeper than I thought, and my right foot got pretty wet. Step, squish, step, squish. YUK. At about that time, I figured I was going to go home, and was only going to get 5 miles in.

So I went running back the way I came, looking about to try and find my scarf. I had pretty much given up on finding it, when I saw it laying in the road. So I guess there was some happy in there.

So that's my weekend. I leave for Chicago on the 1:20 flight this afternoon, and I get to look forward to running on the treadmill in the hotel for two days. Joy.

Anyhoo, I have more, but need to get some work done. Perhaps I can get connected in my hotel room this evening.

Ta!
~a

she's got huge... tracts of land.

Yep, it had to come out sooner or later. (I am digging these movie quotes...)

I ran again on the treadmill yesterday. Next to the mirror. Looked over, and really had a bit flopping about, if you know what I mean. I used to look at women running, and wonder if it hurt, and now I have become one of those women. And no, after the first mile or so, it stopps hurting. Not saying that it is good for the appearance, or the defiance of gravity... I just cannot find a running bra that I like, that keeps the "girls" firmly in place without cutting off the circulation to my body. I did get in my 5 miles, and I am pretty proud of that fact. Really, it's the first mile that sucks, then you get into a grove with the music, and things seem to just go faster.

At least yesterday, I did not drop my digital music player at mile two. I did that on Tuesday, and the battery fell out and I could not find it. Really sucked to fininish the last mile without the music.

It's another day of snow, snow, snow. I got up earlier than normal, and played with some laundry before getting ready for work. Was having outfit issues. Decided I didn't like the button-down shirt, and wanted to wear a jacket today instead. So I changed, which meant I had to change socks too, since I always need to match. Then the hair issues - with the snow I decided I needed a hat, which meant I could not put my hair into a clip, so we are again in a ponytail.... and then I decided I needed different jewelry to match the green outfit... so I was in to the office later than usual. I am so glad that nobody really pays attention to that - as long as the work gets done, we are all good!

Not much else going on here -

ta!
~a

I feel the need, the need for SPEED!

Monday was a day off on the training schedule, so indeed, I took the day off. Which was probably a good thing, with all of the snow that we got here - there were other things that really needed to get done.

I ended up putzing around the house on Monday evening, going through mail, getting things ready for recycling on Tuesday, and sitting in on a conference call (instead of 12 of us going out in the snow for a face-to-face meeting). Dinner was leftover mashed potatos, and broiled tuna steaks that I had marinated in lime juice, ginger and soy sauce. Yummers.

Yesterday the schedule said 3 miles, easy. Easy for whom? Like I am going to go out and battle snow drifts! I ended up having to wait for my stepson to come home with the vehicle before I could go to the YMCA to spend some time on the treadmill. His vehicle needs new tires, brakes and rotors, so he has been using our 2nd vehicle to get to and from work. Problem is, he works until at least 6pm. I suppose I could have taken my work truck, but with all of the decals on it, it looks a bit conspicuous.

So I got to the Y at about 7, and had to sign up to wait for a treadmill. I really thought about leaving (it was only 3 miles for gosh sakes), but stuck it out and stretched for about 10 minutes whilst I waited for someone to leave. As I was going over to get on the treadmill that opened up when it was my turn, I saw some lady going to get on the machine. I think I was a bit of a bitch to her - "Did you sign up on the list????" "No" "Well I have been waiting for over 10 minutes for a treadmill to open up..." I suppose it was better than screaming "MINE, MINE, MINE!!!"

In planning, I had figured that I would start out at 5.2 mph, and see how that went. Made a conscious effort to not run at the front of the treadmill, and to lengthen my stride. 5.2 was too slow, so I bumped it up to 5.5, and ran my 3 miles. Mission accomplished. Felt great too, was so energized after that! Ooooh, and the stretching was fabulous too. I know, it's kind of weird, but I love stretching after running. It would be even better if I trimmed down the tummy so I would not have that in the way.

After that, I went home and finished my book club book, My Sister's Keeper, since I have book club tonight. I really enjoyed it, it is kind of different, each chapter in the book is told through the point of view of the characters in the book, and it is really an interesting topic to think about - the character Anna in the book is concieved to be a donor match for her older sister who has leukemia, and it explores some of the issues involved in when and what do you get to decide for your children, medically speaking. Anna starts a lawsuit so she will not have to donate a kidney to her sister. She is 13.

Today, I have a lunch meeting, and I have my gym bag packed so I can hit the treadmill this afternoon before I need to get to my book club. Schedule for today says 5 miles. It says to run outside in all weather, but thanks, no, not taking chances on killing or hurting myslef on the snow pack or ice. At least I am getting in the miles!

off to the salt mines
~a

Chun, you are incredible! No - I am better than that.

Sticking to the movie quotes, as instructed by my muse, Snackie...

Eric and I were watching this movie, and now we keep joking about it. He will tell me that I am fabulous, and I will tell him "no, I am better than that!"

It was a good weekend. I procrastinated a bit after I got home on Friday, but I ran my 4 miles, then put my rear on the couch and watched the 3rd Harry Potter movie and cross-stiched.

Saturday I got up early and headed to the Convention Center, where I volunteered in the canteen at the blood drive the Red Cross has set up outside of the auto show. Went home got dressed, and did my 3 mile "pace" run as it had said to do on the training schedule - pushed myself a bit, and acutally was able to do the distance in about 29 minutes. After that, I got all snazzed up to meet some friends for drinks, and dinner. I actually got home at about 9:30, and was pretty much asleep by 10:00 - I think Eric got in around midnight, but did not hear him at all.

Sunday, lazed in bed with Eric for a while, then got myself organized for a trip to the grocery store. $200.18 later, I was back home stashing all of the things that I had purchased. Man, it just all adds up! Then it was downstairs to get the camera downloaded (finally) with the pictures from the cruise. I did ask Eric to do it, but they boy is just intimidated by the computer and all things associated with it. After the software install, it was actually very easy - connect the cord from the computer to the camera, and turn on the camera. Badda bing, badda boom, all pictures downloaded! It was actually more challenging to put the pic's on a CD, and how hard is it to transfer files????

So, I dropped the CD off at a friend's house (she is putting together a presentation of all the people's photos for a post-cruise gathering), then I went to Phalen for my scheduled run. 6 miles was on the schedule, which meant 2 times around the lake. I do have to say, that I ran the whole 6 miles, and I am pretty proud of myself. I almost stopped after I had completed one lap, since the weather was not the best, but forced myslef to do the second lap. Amazingly enough, the second lap felt much better than the first - and it did not seem like it took as long, either. And that 6 miles, according to le watch, took me an hour and 5 minutes. Makes me feel good about myself. I know I consciously slowed down and relaxed my pace several times, as it was to be an easy training run, but that is not much off of the time I had for the one and only 10K I have run. 14 weeks until the half marathon!

And that's about the sum total. Not traveling for work this week, but have things going on every evening, so I will probably be going to the Y to run on the treadmill to get in my miles this week because of the HALF A FOOT of snow that is currently on the ground. Strangely enough, I seem to be able to run faster outside than on the treadmill, even though they tell you it is the other way around. Might have something to do with the fact that I may shorten my stride on the treadmill, since I seem to run as close as I can to the front.

Wish me luck in digging out of the snow!
~a

There is only 'do' or 'not do', there is no 'try.'

So I'm registered for the half marathon. Found that out yesterday when I looked on my bank website to see if they had cashed my check. They had. Looked at the training schedule I have in my hot little fist. It says Thursday: 3 miles easy. My thoughts: No problem... I will go home, pop the chicken in the oven for an hour to cook while I run, plenty of time!

There enters the "not do". Got home. Decided I needed to finish my library book, since it was overdue, so I read for an hour. Went looking for my husband who happened to be flopped face-down across the bed, asleep. Bugged him to get up so we could get the car from the dealership after it had gone through it's 20,000 mile service. Decided I needed to get a roof rack with a bike mount there, so that took longer. Got home again, started on prepping dinner. Chicken in the oven. Oh, it's getting too dark to go running.... Hmmmmm maybe some mashed potatos to go with it? There went the time for my run!

Why oh why do I not stick to my plan? I was going to 'TRY' to get up this morning and go to spinning. and we all know what happened there. I actually was in bed until 7:15 am.

Anyway, this is what I am going to DO tonight.

After I get home, I will put on my exercise clothes, and go for a 4 mile run. It is supposed to be 50 degrees outside, so there will be no excuses or distractions. (Eric will be gone this evening). After my run, I will shower, eat a healthy dinner of leftover baked chicken, and do some house cleaning.

As a reward for these accomplishments, I will sit my behind down on the couch and watch a DVD. Not sure if it will be Harry Potter, or Season 4 of Alias.

as Nike says: "JUST DO IT!"

~a

If it was easy, everyone would do it, it's the hard that makes it great.

Taking a cue from miss Snackie - it is a movie line though, not a song lyric.

Anyone know where it came from?

Anyhoo, I keep thinking about that line right now, when I am dragging my sorry butt out of bed in the morning to start in on the half marathon training plan. Well, not this morning, but I WILL be running after I go home this afternoon. Nothing that is worth anything is easy. It's the journey, and the persistance that shape and mold you, and if it was easy, everyone would do it!

I will say, I believe the "listen to your body" is working. I have not had any insane cravings, and have not been hungry enough to eat my arm. I turned down food in the break room when it was offered, because I was not hungry. When we went out to eat last night, I stopped eating when I was full, and put more than half of my dinner in a to-go box.

I spent two nights in Superior, Wi for work. Driving home yesterday afternoon was actually a bit retrospective, as it is a lot of times. I grew up there. Graduated High School from Superior Senior High. There are a lot of memories tied to the area, and not all of them good ones. I always felt like I was a bit of an outcast there - we moved when I was in third grade, and I guess I never really felt like I fit in. In grade school all of the little girls in my class signed a letter to me that basically told me that they "hated my guts" and did not want me hanging around with them any more. Hard to do when there is only one class of 6th graders - small country school. I think that is something that really affects me to this day, I am thrilled when people include me, and compliment me (although I don't always believe it) and feel kind of like Sally Fields' famous Oscar acceptance speach: "You really like me!"

So really, there it is, I am a people pleaser at heart. I want people to like me and to accept me and to fit into their groups. Although I still have skepticism - why are they being nice to me?

Driving yesterday reminded me of a time when our church group was making a trip to the Twin Cities, and I was sitting in the front (bench) seat next to a cute older guy who kept flirting with me, and I had no idea why. He made some comment later that he had tried his hardest to make nice to me, but I rebuffed him at every chance.

Why am I talking about this? Just some passing thoughts I wanted to get out. Today, I think I have moved past some of the skepticism, but am still trying to make people like me... and part of that is the reason I think I am trying to lose weight. I want people to like ME, and appearance is a large part of that, in my estimation.... (it can't have anything to do with the confidence you portray, can it?)

So anyway, that's the ramble.

Oh, and the registration check for the half marathon got cashed, so we are IN BABY!!!!!! June 17th is the date of the race.

toodles!
~a

3 miles, easy

That was what day 1 of the half marathon training plan said that I should do on Monday.

But, as always, life seemed to interfere and I was completely unmotivated last night to go exercise when I got into my hotel room. I instead, did some cross-stitch, and watched the E recap of the Oscar outfits. They were correct, there were no real outrageous outfits, and again, nothing that really stood out to me as being completely gorgeous.

My takes on the outfits/makeup:
Sandra Bullock's dress was great, but her makeup was completely bland, except maybe for a bit too much blush...
Nichole Kidman was just too much of the same color.
Kiera Knightly needed to stand up straight. I cannot stand when people slouch - If you got it, flaunt it!
Dolly Parton, I liked her stage outfit much better than her red carpet outfit. That pink number with all of the criss-cross was not something I liked. Of course it must be so hard to dress for her body type.
Charlise Theron - it was a good thing she was sitting on the aisle, as the person to her left would not have had room to sit next to that bow!
Selma Hayak - the dress looked so odd and pinched to one side. The color was gorgeous, and the detail was interesting, but I would think it could have been fitted better.

So I got up this morning and ran on the treadmill my easy 3 miles. Today's schedule also says 3 miles, so I am planning on doing that after I get done for the day, before the group goes out for dinner.

I guess I have not updated since before the weekend... Friday, Eric and I went and helped my friend in cleaning/prepping her house to get ready to put on the market. She and her husband are getting divorced, and decided it was just best to put it on the market.

Saturday, I decided not to go weigh in, because I didn't feel like it, and I knew Corky was not going to be there. I also knew that I had an "eh" kind of week, and did not need to pay the money to have them tell me that. Saturday we went to a social for the Jaycees State Bowling, and I must say that I probably drank my fair share of beer. I was sitting next to a friend of mine, and we were just having a good time, giggling like a couple of school girls. At one point we raided the adult "toy" vending machine in the women's bathroom, then opened everything up to see what they looked like. Let me tell you, 75 cents does not get you a whole lot! Although it was worth it for the amusement factor.

Sunday we bowled teams for state bowling. The first game they had the lights off for cosmic bowling, and that really threw me off... I bowled a 96. After that, they turned the lights on, and amazingly enough, I bowled a 144 and a 140 after that. I guess practice does make you better - although I rather doubt that I will be bowling on the same league again next year (Sunday was the last day of our league also, and I got my stepson to fill in for me). I just cannot stand the way I smell when I come home from bowling... smoke, yuk.

So foodwise, I had a crap weekend. Too much beer on Saturday, and too much recovery food on Sunday.

And I am really starting to not like writing down food every day. I think I am going to try the core plan, as I want go listen to what my body is saying about food - and I think if I cut out some of the extraneous carbs, I am going to have less cravings. I am going to try to be all about the lean meats, veggies and fruits. They do seem to fill me up, and keep me full for longer, so I am going to go with that at this point.... does not mean that I won't have bread/carbs, but I am going to make an effort to reduce my intake and see what happens. Also, if I am going to do this training program for the half marathon, I want to make sure I have enough fuel in my body to keep myself going.

That being said, yesterday I had my oatmeal, sushi and an apple for lunch, and I got some food for the drive up north: veggie medley with carrots, broccoli, and pea pods, an antioxidant juice, apples, bananas, and some Pirate's Booty (was craving salt and crunch and that was the thing I wanted... plus there are only 4 servings in the bag as opposed to other snacks that were 6-8). Yes, I did eat carbs, but that was what I was craving, and I did not eat the whole bag. In actuality, I think I probably had around 18 points, but I was satisfied.

Today, I have had oatmeal, and a banana with peanut butter. Fiber, fruit, and some protein to keep me going. Lunch, I am not certain, but I have a microwavable lentil soup that will fill me up wonderfully, and dinner will be out with the group. And I plan to do another 3 miles, so I can get in the 26 the training program calls for this week.

And on another note, I am making a conscious effort to relax my shoulders, so mine is not paining me nearly as much. And the hotel has a hot tub I am planning on using tonight.

Off to the races!
~a

Evil, stinkin' girl scout cookies....

I ate almost an entire box yesterday. Do-Si-Do's. All sorts of otmeally, peanut-buttery goodness. I figure that was about 20 points there.

At least the box is gone now. The other box is going in the freezer, or home with my sister-in law, or perhaps some other dire place.

Dropped my boss off at the airport yesterday. He was in for two days to go over some of the restructuring that has been going on, and to meet with my Service Area Managers to go over the "Service Partner Agreement" so we have a better structure of what my job is supposed to be rather than what people seem to think is my job when it really isn't. It actually was not a bad couple of days, becuase he and I get along pretty well. In fact, when he came in on Tuesday night, we headed over to the MOA and did some serious shopping... now that the Canadian Dollar is doing better, he gets more for his money here.

And then, yesterday afternoon, I had a phone interview. Working for a different company that is based here in the Twin Cities, and there would be much less travel involved in that position. And he did not seem put off at all by my salary requirements, but really, if you want someone with 10 years of experience, you will be paying for it!

After that I went home because my shoulder was screaming at me. When I am stressed, I tend to wrap my shoulders around my ears. I don't think I am stressed, but my left shoulder is telling me different. I have been doing some running on the treadmill, and I think I am using bad form, trying not to bash my arms into the front of the treadmill. Not something that has happened before, but who knows why these things seem to happen.

So went home to relax, and ate too many cookies. Not sure if it was the painkillers or the cookies that made me nausious.... but my stepson cooked himself a pizza last night that I smelled and just wanted to hurl. A bit of the same thing at dinner - we went to a Vietnamese restaurant, and I orderd the Hun Tu (at least that is what I remember it being called) Soup with rice noodles, pork, crab and shrimp. The p0rk just was not at all appealing to me, I gave most of it to Eric, tried a piece myself, and ended up spitting it out.

And, the happy news is I started in on my/our taxes last night, and we are not going to owe money this year. Definately a happy dance. Glad to know my bonus this year is not going to pay for taxes!!!!

Not much else going on out there. Probably going home early today too, since said shoulder is not happy today. Perhaps some heat and more pain killers will do the trick.

~a