Ug

And where has the motivation gone?

It's been kind of an interesting day. Interesting bad, or interesting good?

I don't know. And that's really what I am struggling with. And yes, I ended a sentence with the word "with". I keep bugging Eric about that, trying to improve his grammar.

Yep. It's a little after 10 on a Friday. Figured I would catch up on some blogs and blogging before I delt with some bills. Also drinking a glass of wine. On the night before WI no less...

So today. I don't know why I get so tired when I do training for a big run. I seem to need WAY more sleep than a normal person when I start doing runs of more than 3 or 4 miles a couple of times a week. Yep. Did not get up this morning to run, even though it would have been GORGEOUS. Actually got into work at about 7:30am, did some clean-up from being gone for a day and a half, set up a meeting with 4 very busy people, talked to my boss... then left at 10 or so to trade vehicles at home, to then go to the funeral.

Okay, funerals are not supposed to be fun. Well, in the literal sense of the word. But, it was nice being with my friend, and showing support, and to see some people I might not otherwise seen. We made several toasts at the lunch afterwards, glad that I had gone home to get personal vehicle, rather than driving the company vehicle (not that I had more than 1 beer, really) but it was a little odd drinking at lunchtime, knowing that I was going to go back into the office. I can honestly say that I have not done that before. That being said, I am glad that I went to the funeral, and got to see/talk to the people that I did. Always nice to see and catch up with people you have not seen in a while.

After work, I was TIRED. Eric had called me when he was going home, and said he was planning on taking a nap before going where he needed to go for the evening. Sounded so good, we crawled into bed and cuddled and slept from about 4:15 until 6. I was thinking about going with him, but decided to veg at home and sort through the mail and bills that have been accumulating in the last week.

An interesting day....

Yep. I did not go for a run. It's in the plan for tomorrow, I swear. The scedule says 4, but I am thinking I need to up that. Feeling a bit like a slug.

Blek.

And I have spoken.

And I have to figure out if I am truly going to loose the weight I have gained back, or to just decide that I am going to hang out here. Man it is so hard... I want to lose 20-30 pounds, but the maintenance at that weight is so much more difficult than maintaining at this weight. What's a body to do. Where do I really want to be? And the honest answer - I don't know.

and to sum it up, Ug.

~a