My cat hates me

I think it's the pills I have been stuffing down her throat.

She appears to feel better after I do it, but it does not make the task any more pleasant. She has taken to hiding from me in the morning and the evening, when she knows it is time for the deed.

Mashing the pills and mixing them in wet food and tuna only worked for so long. When you get it every day, it's no longer a treat. Which is why I started doing the whole pills.

Yeah. And that does not work so well. She's on a heart medication, a thyroid medication, and half a baby asprin every other day. The latest manover has been to crush the pills, mix them with a little water, and squirt them in her mouth. I'm sure it tastes horrible, but it's done and over with pretty quickly.

I was a little worried this morning when I could not find her. But she came out from hiding before I had to leave to meet my running group. I'm scared that someday, she's just going to crawl into a corner and give up the ghost. So Eric and I have spent quite a bit of time this evening being nice to her, and giving her love and attention.

I'm wondering if it's worth it to continue with the pills, if all they do is make her hate me, and not want to be "my cat" any more. The eternal question: Quantity of life vs. Quality of life. I would say I want to go for the quality of life. But it's hard.

That's all
~a

Welcome, Friday

As I got into bed last night, I told Eric that he had to kick me out of bed in the morning when the alarm went off.

So at about 5:30 this morning, I was on the NordicTrack. 45 minutes of pretty medium intensity workout. I went about 4.1 miles. At least, that's what my electronic doohickey told me.

This week started out very poorly.

I was so hungover on Monday, that it leaked into Tuesday. And it made my workout on Wednesday just suck the big one.

I don't know why I drank all of the wine on Easter at my MIL's house, other than the fact that it was there. And we were playing Mexican Train, and I kind of lost track of what I was doing. I kind of feel like I need to call my MIL and apologize for my stupiditiy, but I just want to move on.

Yeah, so I have decided there will be no drinking of alcohol until at least June. Why June? Because it is over two months away. And I have zero desire to have any alcohol for at least two months, if it takes me three days to recover. I must be getting old.

On another note - today was pretty nice. After the 45 minutes of working out this morning, I got into work early, and got a lot accomplished. Eric took the day off, so he showed up to take me out to lunch - half a veggie hoagie at Davanni's, then we drove over to Mounds Park where we went for a short walk. He called a little later to inform me that we have reservations at 6:30 tonight. Where, I don't know - but it will be part 2 of the "date". (The first part being lunch).

I have a full weekend coming up, and I am looking forward to it, especially to meet my running group tomorrow morning to shake off the bad week. Nothing like getting outside and going for a run!

~a

Jogging in place

Well, maybe forwards and backwards.... but the end result is the same.

I had a couple of crappy eating weeks. Like, I know I shouldn't, but I just don't care at this time. Like two forays to the "Pizza Ranch" in just as many weeks. I love pizza, and should just know better. I leave hurting.

Food, not so good.
Exercise, not much better. I'm sure it's because of the crap I have been shoving through my system.

Today, it was better. Got up and worked out on my bicycle in the basement. Drank water. Ate healthy food. And I still have points left, and I'm not that hungry. Perhaps some fruit later.

And work today was just interesting. Trying to get folks to do what is their job, having someone tell me that they don't have the time, so I spent about 4 hours this afternoon doing someone else's job.

And fielding about 1800 phone calls, it seems like. Cell phone ringing when I'm on the house phone, after the 3rd cell call from the same number I get off the house phone, to have it ring again...

So the cell phone call this time: Some employee complaining he has to pay the tax on an eye exam. So many things wrong with this picture... 1. I am in the Safety department. Not the benefits/HR department. Eye exam is part of your health care benefits. How many times do I need to explain this to people (and the HR department who hears "safety glasses" and sends people my direction without listening to the whole story...). 2. The tax was $1.53. Seriously..... SERIOUSLY? Pay the stinking $1.53. Would you like me to give you the $2 so you don't waste any more of my time?

And the second call on my home phone? Yeah. That would be my sister. They are stranded in Dallas. They were on the way to Florida for Spring break, and flew to Dallas from Tulsa. Only to get delayed because of weather. And since they were not in their departing city, they couldn't re-book for some odd mysterious reason. Then the airline was nice and relented. So they are going to fly out of Dallas on Thursday, to continue their trip. Yes. Today is Tuesday. Their flight has basically been delayed for two days. I know the airline cannot control the weather. But seriously - two days????? At least I found them a hotel room, with a free shuttle to/from the airport, with an indoor pool, for $60 a night. Last I heard they were trying to have someone find their luggage, since, of course, it was checked through to Florida, and was in the secured area.

At least it's not me.

I'm just fielding all of the phone calls.

~a

Gallup along

I finally answered the phone when the Gallup pollID showed up.

Some kind of interesing questions... but when they asked how many times I had exercised in the past week for 30 minutes or more, I was able to say: 4 times. And how many days in the last week, how many have I eaten 5 or more fruits or vegetables? That would be 5, thank you. I know it should probably be more... but it is most likely more than most people.

Although I wasn't that thrilled about the height and weight questions. I know I am overweight, and I don't really have a problem telling folks how much I weigh, but they are usually looking at me - and I weigh a lot more than I look like.

That, and a lot of health and "are you content with your lifestyle" questions.

Yep, pretty stinkin' healthy, and happy with my life.

On another topic, I went for a run after work today. It went pretty well, and I'm pretty excited about that. I started out doing about 12 minute miles (the first mile is always tough) and the last mile I was doing about 10 minute miles. Gettin into my grove, and feeling strong and healthy.

And after a nice bubble bath, I have been a mad woman in the kitchen. Stuff needed to get used up that was in the refrigerator, so I made my husband some lovely food which is now neatly labeled and in the freezer: Wild rice soup, and meatloaf.

Tomorrow I am gone out west for work, and Eric will have to fend for himself. I am thankful we figured out a way to give the cat her midictions with a minimum of fuss, because I don't know that my lovely husband would have been able to do it.

And otherwise, it's a quiet evening.

~a

1 week

I have gone a week. Journaling. I went over in points, but at least I accounted for everything. That counts, right?

I'm not as hungry this week as I was last week. I really think cutting out a lot of the refined sugar has something to do with it too.

I'm considering going to see a nutritionist. We had a guest speaker at our running club group, who talked about some research that has been done on women athletes. One of the things you need tobe careful of is not to go into a "negative energy balance" by not providing your body the building blocks it needs to support the exercise. It's kind of a catch 22 when you are trying to lose weight - you need to walk a fine balance.

On another news front, my cat seems to be doing better. The lady I ran with on Saturday said that when she had to give her cat pills, she crushed them and mixed them with tuna. So we got a can of wet cat food and have been mixing the pills with about half a teaspoon of cat food, and she eats it all up with no fuss. So we won't have to torture the cat by stuffing pills down it's throat.

She is, however, stubborn, and not willing to admit she has limitations... she is still trying to jump up on things, and missing and falling. Not much I can do about that.

~a

A large loser

Holy cats (okay, not in reference to the previous post), another post? In the same day?

I have taken the challenge.

One of the Jaycee chapters is having a weightloss challenge. And I joined in. I thought I might need the push to get things in gear, because other things just don't seem to be working.

I started on Sunday. I have been journaling, and drinking water, and staying within my points (okay, so I used up all of my flex points on Tuesday at book club, after Kitty trauma on Monday), and I am still going.

Yeah. I weighed in at 195 pounds. Two days post-vacation, but still...

I will take the bull by the horns, and try and win the contest. If nothing else, I will win by virtue of losing the weight.

~a

Kitty woes

Alex is getting old.

Well, she is almost 15 years old. And I have had her as a pet for about that long. My roommate (at the time) and I picked her up through a newspaper ad that was "free to a good home" in 1993.

So Monday night, I got home from work and she looked like she was in a pretty good funk, head hanging, that sort of thing. I was thinking it might be because she needed some food... I think she might be slowing down on the hard food somewhat, because it is getting more difficult to eat... just my thoughts. So she ate some, then laid down in the living room. I went for a run then, and when I came back, she was in the same spot.

She was walking funny, kind of uncoordinated, falling over, and he back all hunched up. We have not gotten a new vet since we moved (I know, bad kitty mom - but they don't really go outside...) so I called a place that is close. They were closing in 1/2 an hour and would not have time, so they told us to go to the emergency vet.

$600 some dollars later (x-rays, blood work, ultrasound, medication...) we went home. She has some small kidney stones, a bladder stone, racing heartbeat, perhaps something odd with her spine (hazy spot on the x-ray) that the vet there thought might be a tumor. And the start of a bladder infection. So we get pain medication and antibiotics.

Yeah. The cat hates the medications.

So I follow up as told with the "regular" vet who does not seem to think that there is anything wrong with her spine. But, she still has a really fast heartrate. Thinks that might be an overactive thyroid, and perhaps it caused her to throw a small clot which is affecting her legs. He did say that if she was a person, the equivalent heart rate would cause a medical provider to call an ambulance, and they would be admitted into the hospital until it was under control

More bloodwork, and she does have a slightly elevated thyroid level. But, there are no indications of cancer.

Yay. MORE medications.

But, she does seem to be moving around better now. She did miss and fall off of the bed on Sunday night, and that might be what is going on, to some extent.

But for now, she has been extra cuddly, even if I am "torturing" her twice a day to squirt medications down her throat, and now to stuff pills down her throat. I just wonder what is going to happen when I have to travel for work, and Eric has to take care of it...

She's my cat though, and when she was limping around on Tuesday, with me thinking she might have a tumor, I cried. I know things happens, but it is just so sad.

It's kind of taken up my whole week...

~a

Fuzz head

No, not because of a hangover, but I somehow managed to avoid that last week, somehow...

I took out the braids in my hair. And I am a big fuzz ball. I know, tourist thing to do, but I like getting my hair braided when I am on vacation in warmer climates.

And really, it had a purpose, because it kept my hair tamed when I was snorkling in the ocean.

It kind of sucks being back from vacation, but in other ways it is really nice. My own bed, which is queen sized rather than double. Seeing the cats. Not having to slather on sunscreen lest I burn my hide off (yes, very white girl here!)

But it was great to get away.

So the scoop:

Got up Friday the 15th - at 3am. It was -12 according to bank in downtown St. Paul. Get to the airport, on the plane. Slept some, read, etc. My friend (the one that arranged the trip for our group) cried when we landed because she was so happy to be on vacation. Customs, ride to hotel... rooms are not going to be ready for a couple of hours. So we went to the bar and had some beverages - because, of course, it was an all-inclusive resort! Met some people at the bar that we ended up hanging out with and doing stuff with all week...

So the seven of us got rooms all next to each other, which was great, even if they were on the 2nd floor. Dinner that evening in the Mexican restaurant, then off to bed.

Saturday - a day by the pool/ocean. It was funny watching one of the staff trying to recruit folks to go "stretch by the pool." My friend Kathy told him - "There is absolutely nothing that you can say or do to get me out of this lounge chair.... I am on vacation, and you might as well just walk away now." We had dinner at the Cuban resturant that night

Sunday - we decided to rent a Jeep, and explore some of the island when there were no cruize ships there. Looked at the San Gervais ruins. Tasted some Tequilla. Looked at the ocean on the Carribean side of the island. Had a couple of drinks at bars along the way. Got back 6-ish and then got ready to have dinner in town.

Monday - out again in the Jeep, since it was a 24-hour rental. A bit more traffic, and I'm glad that I got some practice driving the day before, since it was a little scarier. After we turned in the Jeep, we did some shopping in town. This is the day I got my hair braided. I got a really cool calla lilly vase. We got my dad a belt buckle as a present, but Eric really annoyed me because he would not let me bargain for it.... No kidding - he slapped me in the rear when I tried to make a counter offer. I was so relieved to have the Jeep dropped off, and a little irked because of the shopping, so when we got back I had a few too many beverages. I guess I poured myself into bed at about 7. I guess the phone rang to see if we wanted to go to dinner, but I don't remember it... I woke up around 3am, brushed my teeth, drank a bottle of water, and crawled back into bed. Suprisingly, I was not hung over in the morning.

Tuesday - three of us went to Chakkunab, which is a national park. A day of relaxing on the beach and snorkeling along the reefs there. Some really cool fish there. We had dinner in the Italian restaurant that night.

Wednesday - I went horseback riding in the morning with Betsy. Eric, Betsy and I caught the ferry to Playa del Carmen in the afternoon, where we did some more shopping. And when the same thing started to happen with the barganing, I took Eric aside and told him to quit it. Okay, so I yelled at him in front of the salesperson.... then we stepped aside to talk. When I told him that he was supposed to bargain, he said "Well, then I don't want to shop". Betsy had a bit of a chat with him, told him it was a game for the salespeople, and that if he liked something, he was supposed to hand it to me, and walk away. It worked! We got back around 8pm, had some dinner in the buffet, and watched the lunar eclipse.

Thursday - One of the folks we had met on Friday, had won a boat ride so we all piled onto this fabulous boat for a cruise up the coast up the island with a stop for snorkeling at an off-shore reef. REALLY cool fish there! Relaxing by the pool in the afternoon, and dinner again in the Mexican restaurant. Complaining about how we had to leave the next day.

Friday - *sniff* packing, and meeting in the lobby at 9:30 am to take a taxi to the airport. We upgraded to first class, so it was a little more bearable to go home, but still kind of sad.

It was fun, and relaxing, and gluttonous.... I bit the bullet and stepped on the scale this morning and was up about 10 pounds.

So, *thud* welcome back to reality.

Exercize and diet will commence...... tomorrow.

~a

The never ending week

I swear today was supposed to be Friday.

Spent the day in the office with a co-worker. It was kind of painful. He's trying to master pivot tables. Or something like that.

We have to run reports with huge batches of data, and do interpretation, etc. I started playing with the excel program probably a year ago, and now am trying to tell him how to sort things. He is not computer literate. He was having problems with cutting and pasting from one document to another. And with worksheets. Argh. I don't know how many times I have told him the same thing. And it does not seem to sink in.

Therefore, I didn't get a whole lot done today, after being out of the office for a couple of days. I suppose that's how the cookie crumbles, right?

That, and the exercise is just sucking this week. I was thinking I would go for a run yesterday after I got home.... When I stopped for gas in Alexandria, the weather was about perfect. But of course, it was another 2.5 hours before I got home, and by then the mood had left.

I set out clothes to work out this morning, but then I just could not drag my arse out of bed. So I packed clothes to go to the gym after work. And after all of the frustrations of the day, when it would have been perfect to go hit the treadmill, I just came home.

In one week, I will be on vacation, doing some last-minute packing for the trip to Mexico. I don't think it will ever get here.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.
~a

Is is wrong?

Yeah, we leave for Mexico on the 15th.

I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to lose some weight so I would look "better" in my swimsuits. Notice I didn't say "good"?

So anyway, I have been doing a crappy job of not eating all sorts of crap. I guess my heart is just not in it, and I have been taking the path of least resistance. Traveling, snackig, eating the "eh" food they provide at meetings (I work for a railroad. Men ordering food = meat, fat, starch and beer)

I thought to myself the other day that it wouldn't be that bad, since I will still be the smallest girl in the group. Lovely thought. I think any photos taken might be mistaken for diet incentives. Not to say that the folks I am traveling with are not lovely people, but we all struggle with our weight. Well, the women anyway. Is it wrong to think this way?

I know when we get there, we will have a blast, and I will not let anything keep me from going out and enjoying myself, but I am a little stressed/obsessed with it right now.

It didn't help that I overslept on Tuesday, so I didn't exercise, and this morning the treadmill in the hotel was out of order - but I still got on the stairstepper for 30 minutes. And then destroyed my good intentions by eating a large carmel roll.

I gotta give up this "screw it" attitude I have about food.

That will be all.
~a

An interesting turn of events...

Today has been weird.

Got up early this morning, because my work truck was at the office, and Eric had to drop me off this morning. It was there, because it would not start on Thursday when I got home from the mother of all road trips. (yeah, we were in Minot, ND when it was -24. Without the windchill. Seriously.) So I had to have a new battery put in it on Friday - but I had already driven to work, so I had a vehicle there.

So in the office, I'm about the first one there. Getting geared up for my three Monday conference calls, coffee, e-mail, etc. Someone walks by my cube and says "I see you won some money!" My reply: "Really?!?!" We had a pool at the office - put your name on a spot, pay $5, then they draw numbers. The guy that was running the pool told me on Friday that the numbers were up. I said okay. He wondered if I wanted to look at what I had. I told him why bother - it's not like I could do anything about them.... okay, so he thought I was weird. But - I had the correct numbers for the half and the third quarter, so I won $60.

After my calls, I got on my bank website, to see that I have a pending charge from Zappos"dot"com. For $241 and change. Um, I didn't order anything.... so I call them up to ask about it. They were actually really nice about it - great customer service for a person who was not purchasing anything. They cancelled the order (it was placed late at night on Sunday) and told me to call my bank to tell them my card number had been compromised.

So I called my bank to get a new check card number. And there's paperwork I will need to fill out - but I just checked and the charge has been removed. I'm wondering if they had just entered in the card number wrong, but better safe than sorry, right?

Then it was home to grab my suitcase, and head out again to North Dakota. I seem to be here way too much lately.

I stopped on the way to pick up something to munch on, because the soy nuts and carrots were not quite doing it for me. I did pretty well though - I avoided the cheddar puffcorn I like so much, and got sugar snap peas, some flat earth chips, Diet green tea, some 80% cacao dark chocolate squares, light string cheese, and gum. No I didn't eat/drink all of it, but I was content, had the salt and sweet and crunch I wanted, and was pretty healthy about it.

And the best part of the evening: I didn't slide into the ditch. Between Fargo and Valley City, it was kind of scary - I fishtailed across both lanes of the freeway for about 150 feet, where I could see the tow truck and the other car in the ditch.... but I kept turning the steering wheel, and I didn't hit the brakes, and kept trying to steer in the right direction.

Yikes.

Nothing like sliding on the freeway to get the blood pumping.

So I drove 45 - 50 mph the rest of the way. And I got here in one piece.

Hopefully tomorrow will be less eventful.

~a

Activity

let's see...

this week, I did 10 min on the treadmill and lifted weights on Monday. Tuesday morning I biked for 30 minutes. Took the day off on Wednesday. Thursday I did 35 min on the bike in the mornng, then ran 15 minutes and lifted weights in the afternoon. Friday I went rock climbing.
Saturday, I ran 5.3 miles in an hour, and today I cross-country skiied for about 45 minutes.

So why am I up 5 pounds?

Oh yeah... perhaps it is all the freaking crap I have been eating.

Sigh. I don't know if I will ever get it all together. I like being active.... I really did well with the run on Saturday. I have not run more than 4 miles since August. And my knee has not hurt since then either.

I just know I'm not going to be able to log the miles I need to if I want to run that marathon in the fall... if I don't take some weight off. There's a reason most marathoners are not heavy. It's really hard on the joints.

In a bit of an aside - cross country skiing today was lots of fun. It was a beautiful day for it. Although there were a few things that were a bit of a bother - such as Kare 11 was doing an event in conjunction with the Winter Carnival, where all of the activities at Como were free, so everybody showed up with their kids to partake of the free downhill skiing and snowboarding, and the rental are was a complete zoo. That and rental equipment sucks. The ski boot I had on had been worn through at the heel, and the plastic part that keeps the back stiff, rubbed a goodly portion of skin off of my heel, and the point of that piece dug in too. Let's just hope it won't rub too badly in my running shoe.

Next week is going to be a joy of traveling. Not. Let's see, I will not be driving all of it, but the "tour" will be by car. We will hit Alexandria, MN on Monday, then drive to TRFalls to stay the night there. Meeting in the morning, then a drive to Minot. Meeting in Minot in the morning then we drive to Jamestown, ND, for a meeting Thrusday in Valley City. Then home. Not really looking forward to it, because I know the food choices will be pretty miserable. And I don't know how much exercising I will be able to do.

Anyway, this afternoon is laundry, and getting packed and ready for the week.

~a

Stasis

That's what I feel like right now.

I know what I need to do, and I have good days, but then I have a string of really crap days.

The Good:
I exercised six days in a row. 3 days of a warmup and weightlifting, and 3 days of cardio. Intermixed, of course. The best part was the run on the 6th day - with my running group. We just wanted to do an easy 3.5 miles, so pacing ourselves with 12-minute miles... I think I talked the entire time. Gab, gab, gab. Running, yet conversing like I was out walking. Honestly, it was really cool.

Yeah, so last week, I exercised two days.

I suppose the loads and loads of laundry and cleaning the house count as exercise, but it's not the same thing.

I had four days off of work - putzing and getting things ready for our 11th annual "Thank God the Holidays are Over" Party. Which was Friday. I ate and drank and was merry with all of our guests. It was a lot of fun.

Then Saturday, I did a one block fun run. Does that count as exercise? It also included sitting in a bar drinking bloody marys starting at 9:30... Then home for a long nap, and nothing else for the day.

Sunday, a big fat nothing. I sat my ass on the couch in front of the TV, working on a cross-stitch project. With a little recreational eating and drinking thrown in for good measure.

One good week, one bad week... thus the stasis, on the scale that is.

We are going to Mexico on Feb 15th. I know it's an excuse to lose weight so you look "good" but really... I'm not even doing that.

I just need to string a couple more good days together. So today, I was back at the gym, lifting some weights, and I got out the bike and trainer - So I can do that before I go to work tomorrow.

It all stars with a plan, right? Now if I can just follow it...

~a

Join the hordes

Okay, so I admit it. I went to the gym today.

I downloaded a free two-month pass to Bally's. What the heck. I know I cancelled my Y membership last year because I didn't feel like I was using it enough, but it sure is kind of nice in the winter months.

So the guy who was showing me around the place asked me what my goals were. Honestly, I am using the free membership to get in some weight training. He was kind of impressed when I told him that my goal was to run the TC marathon in October. And that I couldn't run in 2007 because of a knee thing, and that I wanted to lose some weight to get it off of my knees. And I have the cardio stuff at home, but I wanted to do strenght training. So he started telling me about how you need a balance.... yadda yadda. Until I interrupted him and told him that I used to sell exercise equipment. He stopped touting the benefits at that point, and tried to get me to sign up for a membership. It's actually pretty reasonable, but again, one of the reasons I cancelled the Y membership is that there were not facilities in the places to which I travel on a regular basis: Like North Dakota, and Thief River Falls.

So I did some strengh training today. For like, the first time in eons. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing.

So the plan is, talk to my friend who does a lot of training, and get some recommended exercises. Write them down, and bring them with me next time I go.

Which IS going to be on Wednesday.

And hey - I've had 80 oz of water so far today...

Tomorrow, I shall conquer the bike in my basement.

~a

"I didn't hear the furnace turn on this morning"

That's the first thing that my DH said to me this morning... so as he got out of bed to look at the thermostat, I stuck my bare toes out the side of the bed, to see if the radiator was warm.

It was.

It was just freakishly cold this morning.

It was an uneventful new year's eve. We were not lame like last year, and actually went out instead of crawling into bed at 10 pm. We went to a friend's house, and hung out with a bunch of people... pretty low key. All I had to drink (well, alcholic) was a bit of champaigne at midnight. Which is why it really sucked to wake up in the morning feeling hungover.

I have a head cold. My sinuses are plugged, and I have the mother of all sinus headaches. To top it off, I have the tail end of a cold sore, and pink eye. Such a wonderful start to the year!

And I suppose I should talk about resolutions, since it is that time of the year. Not too much to talk about actually. I think the major one for me is to drink enough water. I was getting headaches around Christmas, and figured out it was because I had not been drinking enough plain water. That, and I will continue to make my bed in the morning. I had that as a resolution two years ago, and it makes me happy to see the bed nice and made, and nicer to crawl in to at night!

Okay, so I am going to try and get back to my goal weight too... I am trying out a new tracking program that my doctor suggested. We'll see if it is a shiny new toy.

Well, off to find some dinner.
~a

Anything that can go wrong...

It's been an interesting week. Both good and bad...

On the 23rd, as I was gearing up to have my dad's side of the family over for Christmas, I saw that I had gotten a phone call on my work cell phone. From a number I knew was our communications center... so I called the on-call person, and found out that we had had a derailment in North Dakota.

Packed myself up, left my hubby with instructions on what to do for the evening (my parents were going to come help...) and hit the road. The road conditions were terrible. I had a discussion with my parents, and we decided to cancel Christmas.

Has anyone really had to cancel Christmas? Yep. That was me.

But on the upside - the cleanup went really quickly, and I was able to get to my parent's house by 4pm on Christmas Eve (after 6 hours of driving - stopping only once to pee, and once to get gas) to enjoy time with my mom's side of the family. Eric and I had reserved a hotel room for the evening, so when we got there we invited the kids that were there to swim in the pool to expend some of their energy before the evening's festivities. There were 22 people there in all. It was a nice evening, if a bit chaotic.

My husband got me a gift that I really liked: a trainer for my bicycle. So now I can bike inside during the winter!

Christmas day, we were at my mother-in-law's house. Both of his sisters were there, along with aunts and cousins, and my stepchildren. Again, a nice time, but I headed out shortly after dinner, since I hadn't been home in a while. They tried to make me feel guilty for leaving, but since I still had my work vehicle, Eric stayed to be social for a while longer.

The roads on the way home were not fun, but I did get home safely.

Yesterday, my stepdaughter and husband had spent the night, so instead of getting up early to brave the shopping, we had a nice relaxing morning. I really like my son-in-law. He has a good head on his shoulders, and really appreciates my stepdaughter. Unlike her last "husband". Yep. She's 24, and is on her second marriage. I think this one is a keeper!

This morning, still on vacation, I got out of the house at about 7:45 to move my work truck because of the snow emergency. Of course the *^#%* thing would not start. And we are one of the streets that pretty much gets plowed at 8am. So, I called the maintenance service, and got the truck towed away to get it repaired. But not before the snow plow plowed it in. Woo hoo. So good person that I am, I shoveled the snow ridge from the street. Then I came in, and stepped in cat barf. Lovely, but there were 4 different spots this morning. Evidently, he has an upset stomach. And he hasn't even been eating all of the decadent Christmas treats!

And on the scedule for the afternoon, getting the house ready for people to come over for dinner tonight. And laundry.

Just pray that we don't have a derailment.
~a

Banana bread or Biscotti?

It's that time of the year. I have people asking me if it's going to happen again...

Around the Christmas holidays for the past four years, I have been making small loaves of banana bread, and biscotti, and giving them out to the people in my office the day before the Christmas holidays begin. Well, since tomorrow is my last day before I am on vacation until January (WOO HOO), I am bringing in the treats tomorrow. I have 11 loaves of bread, and 14 packages of biscotti all packaged up in holiday treat bags, and ready to grab as I am out the door.

I love Christmas. I love the lights, and the festive spirit, and getting together with friends and family.

Tonight I met up with my running group to do a "Christmas lights" run down Summit Avenue. Not a lot of lights up, but it was a great night, and I was more than happy that I kept up with the people I was running with, with no problem at all. I always feel like I am the slow person in the group. But not tonight. I was right there with everyone.

I don't know what it is, but when I am running on a regular basis, all seems right with my world. Even if I weigh more than I think I should. It's all good. I am strong, healthy, and in shape, and that's all that really matters.

~a

I choose

This has become my new mantra.

I choose. I choose to eat or not eat things. I choose to exercise. I choose to sleep in. I feel so much more in control of things, and much more at peace with things.

Two more days of work until I am off until the end of the year. I am so looking forward to it!

Running has been going pretty well lately. Last week, I met with my running group to run at the Dome on Thursday and to run Calhoun on Saturday. It was about 2 degrees on Saturday morning, but it was still great. I will have to say I am a much happier person when I go running. I suppose this makes me a runner. Scary.

Anyway, just doing stuff around the house getting ready for Christmas. Baking, cleaning, decorating, finishing christmas presents... we are doing the lower budget christmas this year: I am using hotel points for gift certificates for some, and making presents (scarves, mittens, hats, crocheted washcloths...) for others. Plus I got a lot of gifts before Thanksgiving.

The other major thing on the agenda this week is getting out the Christmas cards.

I feel boring, but things are actually going pretty well. I feel at peace, and I had a review with my boss on Friday that made me happy. We'll just have to see what the new year brings!

~a

Yikes

I don't want to have to buy pants. I sat in a meeting last Thursday, hating the fact that a pair of pants that had always been kind of loose on me were feeling pretty snug around my ass and my thighs.

But what am I doing about it? Not much. I did go running on Thursday at the Metrodome - a local running association has it set up so you can run in circles there, for the bargain price of $1, with free parking. My running group is planning on doing that on every Thursday it is open - let's hope I can continue, because I think it's awesome.

I spent the weekend at my sister's house, baking cookies with her and my nieces. I think we ended up with about 20 dozen - Biscotti, Oatmeal cookies, Sugar cookie cutouts, and gingerbread people. I ate a few. And drank some wine.

My husband asked me what my favorite part of the weekend was - I told him what it wasn't: The 87 or so temper tantrums my youngest niece threw. I guess she is doing better, but she is still kind of cranky about her dad being hurt. It's not his fault, but try reasoning with an 8-year old.

I'm in Milwaukee for a couple of days for work. Glamourous! Hopefully I will be able to hop on the treadmill here at the hotel. I packed food, and stopped at Trader Joe's for some healthy snacks. I just have to remember not to eat them all! On the drive down, I stopped at a Target to use their restroom, and I tried on a couple of pairs of pants, to see if I should get an inexpensive larger pair to get me through my pants woes. They didn't fit. And I need to get down to the underlying problem - my expanding waistline and rear end.

I never thought I would be one of those people who lost weight, then gained it back. But when I look down at the scale, I am seeing a scarier and scarier number on the scale. I should go back to WW, but I am making excuses - too much $, it does not fit into my schedule, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, what I am doing is not appearing to work. At one point this year, I was down to 175. I want to get back there. I had thought about trying to get there by Christmas, but that is just not going to happen. And it is nobody's fault but my own.

I know, eat less, move more. If only it were that simple.

Anyway, I need to get ready for my meetings.
~a

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

I think so Brain, but if we get Sam Spade, we'll never have any puppies! (you need to read it out loud...)

Okay, so I caught an episode of Pinky and the Brain the other day. I hate to admit it, but that is one thing my ex-boyfriend got me started on that I still enjoy.

I threw out a picture of him (with me) yesterday. It was taken at my friend's wedding when I was a bridesmaid, and had resided in a small picture frame I had on one of my shelves. Facedown, so I wouldn't look at it. I'm not sure why I didn't do it a long time ago. Other than the fact that I was telling myself I kept it because of what I looked like. But I hated the dress (I actually had to change my hair color because it clashed too badly with the dress), it was pepto pink with poofy sleeves, a big bow on the but and a sweetheart neckline. I think the goal of some folks in picking out bridesmaid dresses is to get them to all look like crap, so you look better. Just a theory.

I actually googled my ex the other day. From a hotel so he wouln't know that it was actually me, 'cause he is the ultimate techno geek. It appears that he and his wife had a baby. Still kind of makes me angry - but he did tell me when we were breaking up that he could see himself having kids, just not with me. Hateful and hurtful all at the same time!

It makes me glad for what I have now.

I think that's all the pondering I have the energy for tonight. Tomorrow will be a long fucking day. Not really looking forward to it, but what can you do?

~a