Activity

let's see...

this week, I did 10 min on the treadmill and lifted weights on Monday. Tuesday morning I biked for 30 minutes. Took the day off on Wednesday. Thursday I did 35 min on the bike in the mornng, then ran 15 minutes and lifted weights in the afternoon. Friday I went rock climbing.
Saturday, I ran 5.3 miles in an hour, and today I cross-country skiied for about 45 minutes.

So why am I up 5 pounds?

Oh yeah... perhaps it is all the freaking crap I have been eating.

Sigh. I don't know if I will ever get it all together. I like being active.... I really did well with the run on Saturday. I have not run more than 4 miles since August. And my knee has not hurt since then either.

I just know I'm not going to be able to log the miles I need to if I want to run that marathon in the fall... if I don't take some weight off. There's a reason most marathoners are not heavy. It's really hard on the joints.

In a bit of an aside - cross country skiing today was lots of fun. It was a beautiful day for it. Although there were a few things that were a bit of a bother - such as Kare 11 was doing an event in conjunction with the Winter Carnival, where all of the activities at Como were free, so everybody showed up with their kids to partake of the free downhill skiing and snowboarding, and the rental are was a complete zoo. That and rental equipment sucks. The ski boot I had on had been worn through at the heel, and the plastic part that keeps the back stiff, rubbed a goodly portion of skin off of my heel, and the point of that piece dug in too. Let's just hope it won't rub too badly in my running shoe.

Next week is going to be a joy of traveling. Not. Let's see, I will not be driving all of it, but the "tour" will be by car. We will hit Alexandria, MN on Monday, then drive to TRFalls to stay the night there. Meeting in the morning, then a drive to Minot. Meeting in Minot in the morning then we drive to Jamestown, ND, for a meeting Thrusday in Valley City. Then home. Not really looking forward to it, because I know the food choices will be pretty miserable. And I don't know how much exercising I will be able to do.

Anyway, this afternoon is laundry, and getting packed and ready for the week.

~a

Stasis

That's what I feel like right now.

I know what I need to do, and I have good days, but then I have a string of really crap days.

The Good:
I exercised six days in a row. 3 days of a warmup and weightlifting, and 3 days of cardio. Intermixed, of course. The best part was the run on the 6th day - with my running group. We just wanted to do an easy 3.5 miles, so pacing ourselves with 12-minute miles... I think I talked the entire time. Gab, gab, gab. Running, yet conversing like I was out walking. Honestly, it was really cool.

Yeah, so last week, I exercised two days.

I suppose the loads and loads of laundry and cleaning the house count as exercise, but it's not the same thing.

I had four days off of work - putzing and getting things ready for our 11th annual "Thank God the Holidays are Over" Party. Which was Friday. I ate and drank and was merry with all of our guests. It was a lot of fun.

Then Saturday, I did a one block fun run. Does that count as exercise? It also included sitting in a bar drinking bloody marys starting at 9:30... Then home for a long nap, and nothing else for the day.

Sunday, a big fat nothing. I sat my ass on the couch in front of the TV, working on a cross-stitch project. With a little recreational eating and drinking thrown in for good measure.

One good week, one bad week... thus the stasis, on the scale that is.

We are going to Mexico on Feb 15th. I know it's an excuse to lose weight so you look "good" but really... I'm not even doing that.

I just need to string a couple more good days together. So today, I was back at the gym, lifting some weights, and I got out the bike and trainer - So I can do that before I go to work tomorrow.

It all stars with a plan, right? Now if I can just follow it...

~a

Join the hordes

Okay, so I admit it. I went to the gym today.

I downloaded a free two-month pass to Bally's. What the heck. I know I cancelled my Y membership last year because I didn't feel like I was using it enough, but it sure is kind of nice in the winter months.

So the guy who was showing me around the place asked me what my goals were. Honestly, I am using the free membership to get in some weight training. He was kind of impressed when I told him that my goal was to run the TC marathon in October. And that I couldn't run in 2007 because of a knee thing, and that I wanted to lose some weight to get it off of my knees. And I have the cardio stuff at home, but I wanted to do strenght training. So he started telling me about how you need a balance.... yadda yadda. Until I interrupted him and told him that I used to sell exercise equipment. He stopped touting the benefits at that point, and tried to get me to sign up for a membership. It's actually pretty reasonable, but again, one of the reasons I cancelled the Y membership is that there were not facilities in the places to which I travel on a regular basis: Like North Dakota, and Thief River Falls.

So I did some strengh training today. For like, the first time in eons. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing.

So the plan is, talk to my friend who does a lot of training, and get some recommended exercises. Write them down, and bring them with me next time I go.

Which IS going to be on Wednesday.

And hey - I've had 80 oz of water so far today...

Tomorrow, I shall conquer the bike in my basement.

~a

"I didn't hear the furnace turn on this morning"

That's the first thing that my DH said to me this morning... so as he got out of bed to look at the thermostat, I stuck my bare toes out the side of the bed, to see if the radiator was warm.

It was.

It was just freakishly cold this morning.

It was an uneventful new year's eve. We were not lame like last year, and actually went out instead of crawling into bed at 10 pm. We went to a friend's house, and hung out with a bunch of people... pretty low key. All I had to drink (well, alcholic) was a bit of champaigne at midnight. Which is why it really sucked to wake up in the morning feeling hungover.

I have a head cold. My sinuses are plugged, and I have the mother of all sinus headaches. To top it off, I have the tail end of a cold sore, and pink eye. Such a wonderful start to the year!

And I suppose I should talk about resolutions, since it is that time of the year. Not too much to talk about actually. I think the major one for me is to drink enough water. I was getting headaches around Christmas, and figured out it was because I had not been drinking enough plain water. That, and I will continue to make my bed in the morning. I had that as a resolution two years ago, and it makes me happy to see the bed nice and made, and nicer to crawl in to at night!

Okay, so I am going to try and get back to my goal weight too... I am trying out a new tracking program that my doctor suggested. We'll see if it is a shiny new toy.

Well, off to find some dinner.
~a

Anything that can go wrong...

It's been an interesting week. Both good and bad...

On the 23rd, as I was gearing up to have my dad's side of the family over for Christmas, I saw that I had gotten a phone call on my work cell phone. From a number I knew was our communications center... so I called the on-call person, and found out that we had had a derailment in North Dakota.

Packed myself up, left my hubby with instructions on what to do for the evening (my parents were going to come help...) and hit the road. The road conditions were terrible. I had a discussion with my parents, and we decided to cancel Christmas.

Has anyone really had to cancel Christmas? Yep. That was me.

But on the upside - the cleanup went really quickly, and I was able to get to my parent's house by 4pm on Christmas Eve (after 6 hours of driving - stopping only once to pee, and once to get gas) to enjoy time with my mom's side of the family. Eric and I had reserved a hotel room for the evening, so when we got there we invited the kids that were there to swim in the pool to expend some of their energy before the evening's festivities. There were 22 people there in all. It was a nice evening, if a bit chaotic.

My husband got me a gift that I really liked: a trainer for my bicycle. So now I can bike inside during the winter!

Christmas day, we were at my mother-in-law's house. Both of his sisters were there, along with aunts and cousins, and my stepchildren. Again, a nice time, but I headed out shortly after dinner, since I hadn't been home in a while. They tried to make me feel guilty for leaving, but since I still had my work vehicle, Eric stayed to be social for a while longer.

The roads on the way home were not fun, but I did get home safely.

Yesterday, my stepdaughter and husband had spent the night, so instead of getting up early to brave the shopping, we had a nice relaxing morning. I really like my son-in-law. He has a good head on his shoulders, and really appreciates my stepdaughter. Unlike her last "husband". Yep. She's 24, and is on her second marriage. I think this one is a keeper!

This morning, still on vacation, I got out of the house at about 7:45 to move my work truck because of the snow emergency. Of course the *^#%* thing would not start. And we are one of the streets that pretty much gets plowed at 8am. So, I called the maintenance service, and got the truck towed away to get it repaired. But not before the snow plow plowed it in. Woo hoo. So good person that I am, I shoveled the snow ridge from the street. Then I came in, and stepped in cat barf. Lovely, but there were 4 different spots this morning. Evidently, he has an upset stomach. And he hasn't even been eating all of the decadent Christmas treats!

And on the scedule for the afternoon, getting the house ready for people to come over for dinner tonight. And laundry.

Just pray that we don't have a derailment.
~a

Banana bread or Biscotti?

It's that time of the year. I have people asking me if it's going to happen again...

Around the Christmas holidays for the past four years, I have been making small loaves of banana bread, and biscotti, and giving them out to the people in my office the day before the Christmas holidays begin. Well, since tomorrow is my last day before I am on vacation until January (WOO HOO), I am bringing in the treats tomorrow. I have 11 loaves of bread, and 14 packages of biscotti all packaged up in holiday treat bags, and ready to grab as I am out the door.

I love Christmas. I love the lights, and the festive spirit, and getting together with friends and family.

Tonight I met up with my running group to do a "Christmas lights" run down Summit Avenue. Not a lot of lights up, but it was a great night, and I was more than happy that I kept up with the people I was running with, with no problem at all. I always feel like I am the slow person in the group. But not tonight. I was right there with everyone.

I don't know what it is, but when I am running on a regular basis, all seems right with my world. Even if I weigh more than I think I should. It's all good. I am strong, healthy, and in shape, and that's all that really matters.

~a

I choose

This has become my new mantra.

I choose. I choose to eat or not eat things. I choose to exercise. I choose to sleep in. I feel so much more in control of things, and much more at peace with things.

Two more days of work until I am off until the end of the year. I am so looking forward to it!

Running has been going pretty well lately. Last week, I met with my running group to run at the Dome on Thursday and to run Calhoun on Saturday. It was about 2 degrees on Saturday morning, but it was still great. I will have to say I am a much happier person when I go running. I suppose this makes me a runner. Scary.

Anyway, just doing stuff around the house getting ready for Christmas. Baking, cleaning, decorating, finishing christmas presents... we are doing the lower budget christmas this year: I am using hotel points for gift certificates for some, and making presents (scarves, mittens, hats, crocheted washcloths...) for others. Plus I got a lot of gifts before Thanksgiving.

The other major thing on the agenda this week is getting out the Christmas cards.

I feel boring, but things are actually going pretty well. I feel at peace, and I had a review with my boss on Friday that made me happy. We'll just have to see what the new year brings!

~a

Yikes

I don't want to have to buy pants. I sat in a meeting last Thursday, hating the fact that a pair of pants that had always been kind of loose on me were feeling pretty snug around my ass and my thighs.

But what am I doing about it? Not much. I did go running on Thursday at the Metrodome - a local running association has it set up so you can run in circles there, for the bargain price of $1, with free parking. My running group is planning on doing that on every Thursday it is open - let's hope I can continue, because I think it's awesome.

I spent the weekend at my sister's house, baking cookies with her and my nieces. I think we ended up with about 20 dozen - Biscotti, Oatmeal cookies, Sugar cookie cutouts, and gingerbread people. I ate a few. And drank some wine.

My husband asked me what my favorite part of the weekend was - I told him what it wasn't: The 87 or so temper tantrums my youngest niece threw. I guess she is doing better, but she is still kind of cranky about her dad being hurt. It's not his fault, but try reasoning with an 8-year old.

I'm in Milwaukee for a couple of days for work. Glamourous! Hopefully I will be able to hop on the treadmill here at the hotel. I packed food, and stopped at Trader Joe's for some healthy snacks. I just have to remember not to eat them all! On the drive down, I stopped at a Target to use their restroom, and I tried on a couple of pairs of pants, to see if I should get an inexpensive larger pair to get me through my pants woes. They didn't fit. And I need to get down to the underlying problem - my expanding waistline and rear end.

I never thought I would be one of those people who lost weight, then gained it back. But when I look down at the scale, I am seeing a scarier and scarier number on the scale. I should go back to WW, but I am making excuses - too much $, it does not fit into my schedule, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, what I am doing is not appearing to work. At one point this year, I was down to 175. I want to get back there. I had thought about trying to get there by Christmas, but that is just not going to happen. And it is nobody's fault but my own.

I know, eat less, move more. If only it were that simple.

Anyway, I need to get ready for my meetings.
~a

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

I think so Brain, but if we get Sam Spade, we'll never have any puppies! (you need to read it out loud...)

Okay, so I caught an episode of Pinky and the Brain the other day. I hate to admit it, but that is one thing my ex-boyfriend got me started on that I still enjoy.

I threw out a picture of him (with me) yesterday. It was taken at my friend's wedding when I was a bridesmaid, and had resided in a small picture frame I had on one of my shelves. Facedown, so I wouldn't look at it. I'm not sure why I didn't do it a long time ago. Other than the fact that I was telling myself I kept it because of what I looked like. But I hated the dress (I actually had to change my hair color because it clashed too badly with the dress), it was pepto pink with poofy sleeves, a big bow on the but and a sweetheart neckline. I think the goal of some folks in picking out bridesmaid dresses is to get them to all look like crap, so you look better. Just a theory.

I actually googled my ex the other day. From a hotel so he wouln't know that it was actually me, 'cause he is the ultimate techno geek. It appears that he and his wife had a baby. Still kind of makes me angry - but he did tell me when we were breaking up that he could see himself having kids, just not with me. Hateful and hurtful all at the same time!

It makes me glad for what I have now.

I think that's all the pondering I have the energy for tonight. Tomorrow will be a long fucking day. Not really looking forward to it, but what can you do?

~a

Again, not dead...

I just feel like I don't have lots and lots to say.

Weightloss? What's that?

I did step on the scale the other day and scared myself. But yet, I am not doing much to reverse the situation.

Well, let me step back a little. I saw the scary number on the scale, and started counting points again, and doing small amounts of exercise (30 min on the NordicTrack, 3-mile run...) And I was hungry - no lie - for two days straight. I HATE feeling hungry. And it's not like I was eating crap with no substance. And I was snacking on raw veggies and fruit. So, the counting, again, got thrown out the window.

Hi. My name is Anneke. And I have no enthusiasm for the whole weightloss thing right now.

It's also kind of weird, as we have been told at work that there is no overnight travel until the end of the year. As I kept telling people this weekend, I have been at home for the last three weeks, and I am not sure what to do with myself. I will have to say, I have done a lot of stuff in the kitchen, putting together veggie dishes, soups, appetizers, banana bread, and using up all of the space in the freezer, and utilizing pretty much all of the veggies from my farm share.

I have the healty food to eat, I just have to cut out the ice cream, and pie, and brownies, and candy.

Yesterday and today are days of cleaning. In some ways I am avoiding my work computer and the information I need to put together for meetings next week. But it needed to get done. I have cleaned the bathroom (including taking a old toothbrush to the faucet to remove the crud around the bottom) Cleaned, vacuumed, dusted, swiffered the bedroom, office, hallway (dusted the pictures...) and living room, and vacuumed the cat hair off the couches. Brought 3 bags of clothing to Goodwill. Put up some pictures in the guest bedroom that have been on a shelf in a closet since we moved (over three years ago).

Eric has been doing good too with trying to get things straightened/organized. He watched the Oprah show about the hoarding, and came to realize that he is doing some of that... and he has actually made an effort to get some of the halfway finished projects done, and get tools and other materials into a real storage area. I keep telling him if he gets things put away, he will be able to find them later. I think he might have reaized that this is actually pretty true, and he needs to do a better job.

Although some of that might be that I have been home and keep bugging him to get some stuff done.

Anyway, It has been a nice Thanksgiving - it was fairly relaxing, got plenty of rest. And the house is cleaner than it has been in months.

Perhaps I will get in more exercise next week. Can't have everything all at the same time, can we?

~a

Nesting

I feel kind of in that mode right now.

I want to get the house/garage/basement in order. I live with a man who's idea of comfortable is a bit different than mine.

Namely: Clutter is just fine.

Okay, he just looked over my shoulder and asked "What's all over?"

My reply: Stuff all over the bedroom, stuff all over the office, stuff all over the dining room table, stuff all over the kitchen counter, stuff all over the coffee table, boxes of crap that are falling apart in the garage...

And then he gets a little pissy.

"um, you asked what I meant..."

"yeah but the list didn't need to be that long!"

"but it is that long!"

I have no plans for this weekend, other than I am scheduled to donate blood on Saturday morning. I hope to get the house cleaned, laundry washed, sheets on the bed changed, and to cook up a bunch of dishes and soups with the veggies from my farm share. Oh, and I want to finish putting the fringe on the afgahn that I am making for some friends of ours that got married in September. Yeah, I know, but of the three weddings we had in three months, I finished two of the afgahns.

I also hope to unearth the oriental rug I have in the garage so I can get it to the cleaner's. I want to put it in the guest bedroom.

Oh, and I am planning on doing some exercise. I have actually NordicTracked twice this week, and I want to continue the streak. I signed up for a 5K that is on the 18th. Not that I am sure I will run the whole thing, but I really like this race. Yeah, won't be getting a PR this time, but that's just fine with me.

Anyway, I think I am going to go find my husband and convince him we need to go to happy hour.

~a

Does he do it on purpose?

I sent my husband to the grocery store last night. With a list. And I also made sure to show him the grocery ad to show him what he needed to buy, and to explain the list.

He didn't listen to me.

I put "Light microwave popcorn" on the list.
He bought:

• Light Kettle Corn
• Movie Butter mini-bags
• Butter popcorn
• Natural Buttery salt and cracked pepper mini-bags (um, yuk...)

I also gave him a coupon for hot pockets. For two. He bought 8, because they were 5 for $10, and he thought he had to buy that many to get the price....

He also bought a spice that we had purchased last time we had been at the grocery store, when we had gone together.

I had given him some cash that should have covered the items on the list, but with all of the stuff he bought extra, he went over, and put it all on a credit card - which I have been telling him NOT to use the credit cards, as I want them PAID OFF so we can concentrate on getting our home equity loan paid down.... "Well, I gave you the cash back...." Minus some money he used because he was short (he's on an allowance, because he overspends, even if he is given limits - another story)

I asked him this morning if he screwed up on purpose, so I wouldn't send him to the grocery store again. He said that it wasn't intentional, but it sounded like a good idea.

I love him, but he just doesn't get it sometimes.

I'm just a bit frustrated with him right now.

Yargh.

~a

Making the rounds.

That's what's going on this week.

Going from place to place with a couple of women from work, putting on health fairs Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

Got to look at a BMI chart today at the health fair. Yippee. I know those things just don't take into account muscle, but it is still depressing to know that according to the chart, I am overweight, bordering on obese. But, I still don't have issues telling people how much I weigh. It's a number. And I weigh a lot more than what I look like.

It would, however, be nice to weigh less. And have my clothes fit better. I also think it would help immensely with my running. Like less pounding on the knee.

Eric and I went to an apple orchard on Sunday last weekend. It was nice to get out and do a "couples" thing together, with just the two of us. Seems like when we are home together over the weekend, we get busy with projects, and I just don't seem to see enough of him!

Anyway, my point .... there had been a 5-mile race at the orchard the day before (Saturday) and I know some folks with my running group were planning on running. But when I saw the posting up while we were there, I got kind of teary.

I want to run. But I am scared of what will happen. And talking to Eric, telling that I was thinking about running, he started getting concerned. I can't push it.

So I brought stuff with me on this trip to go walking. I walked for 50 minutes last night, and for an hour tonight. It sure clears up some of the cobwebs.

And on Monday, I started journalling again. And when the two women I am traveling with broke out candy bars for snacks yesterday, I broke out the cauliflower I had brought with me. They told me I was being too healthy. Um, we are out here putting on health fairs....

Yep, so I am again trying to follow the WW program. I don't plan on going to meetings, because, honestly, they just don't fit into my schedule - really the only day I can go is Saturday, and I would much rather go out with my running group (well, when I am actually running) than sit in a meeting room, trading ideas about food and coping strategies with a bunch of mommies. Not that there is anything wrong with being a mom, but I just don't fit into that group. And this Saturday I am going to be a course marshall for a local half marathon - the Monster Dash. I will be on the corner of Bryant and Minnehaha, if anyone is interested in coming out to visit, and cheer on the runners!

Anyhoo, I have an early morning - my ride will be leaving the hotel here at 6:45, and I did not sleep well in the hotel last night.

toodles
~a

Still alive

But don't really feel like I have much to talk about.

But I keep telling myself that I am glad that I could not run the marathon on Sunday. Talking to my husband (who is a race official) they were about two degrees from calling the race off.

I guess it was somewhat a comedy of errors at the finish line. Some of the things he was complaining about:

• The large clock at the finish never worked. They tried and tried, but it must have not gotten charged up properly after the Saturday events.
• They didn't have the usual aluminum finish line tape (I was hoping to get some for a couple of friends who were running), but instead, had some duct tape that Eric said was not even sticking to itself.
• Eric asked for a ladder so he could reach the timing clock at the finish. They got him a 6-foot ladder when he needed at least a 12-foot ladder. I told him that was his fault for not being more specific!
• The ran out of lunch/food for the volunteers at the finish, and had to call to get some pizzas delivered.
• The 10-milers used up all of the water on the last part of the course. They had to call out an extra "emergency" Chippewa water truck to get more water on the course.
• They ran out of T-shirts for the 10-mile race
• They almost ran out of kitty litter in the finish area. Kitty Litter? Um, yeah, there were more people than usual throwing up after they finished....
• It was fucking hot.

And that's what I remember right now.

Good times.

~a

All sorts of randomness

So how's life?

Mine feels like it has somehow gone bezerk, then ground to a halt.

And this is what has been going on:

• because I can't run, somehow, I thought I would just not exercise. at all. Very very bad idea. no exercise means very cranky Anneke.
• Eric and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on Saturday. I felt like I had not seen him for a month, and it was kind of weird "getting to know" him again. Seriously. Between the state fair, my trip to my sister's, his weekend trip to a fishing tourney in Brainerd, my work travel, his week of fishing in Canada.... You will be happy to know we still like each other!
• After figuring out what had made me so cranky last Friday, I went for a walk. 5 miles. It was really good - except for the guy who decided he needed to honk his horn and flip me off (and the person who was just ahead of me who was jogging) as we were both on the side of the road. Hello - show me where there is a sidewalk in that particular 50 feet, and I will use it....
• Friday at work was just a prize. I pretty much got into an argument with someone on a conference call, because he thought I should be doing something that is not my responsibility. Something that my boss has repeatedly told people that it is not my responsibility. It is a supplier issue. Not a safety issue. Yeah, I hate to admit it, but I threw a pretty good tantrum at work, slammed a door (and EVERYONE in the office heard it) and left early because I had horrible heartburn. I don't get mad real often, but I guess it is worth the price of admission.
• I had a job interview a couple of weeks ago. The hiring manager called me on Saturday to tell me that even though I was well qualified, and that I interviewed really well, I didn't get the job. Makes me wonder if they had someone already picked to fill the job before they did the interviews, because he asked that if they had a similar position open up elsewhere, would I consider relocating?
• Sunday was about a perfect day. We visited some friends of Eric's at their cabin, and I got to do my most favorite thing in the world - sit on the deck in the morning with a cup of coffee, looking over the lake.
• We had a friend of Eric's stay with us on Friday night, and he was doing the usual getting to know you thing, and he asked me if there was anything else that he should really know about me. I told him I was pretty much a homebody at heart. It makes me feel so good to have a clean house, laundry all done, and a fabulous dinner on the table for guests.
• I got rear-ended yesterday on my way home from work. I was stopping behind a line of cars that were stopped at a light, and knew the person behind me was going to hit me. I pretty much stood on the brakes after I got hit to avoid hitting the car in front of me - I was successful. So we pull off the road, and this guy comes over to say he saw the whole thing, he was a witness. The lady that hit me tried to say that I had stopped quickly in front of her, but both this guy and I said that she had been following to close/going too fast - her reply "so it's all my fault then?" Why yes, it was.... Even though she hit me, I did not hit the car in front of me. And she was the one that got the ticket, not me. It's my company vehicle, so now I get to deal with all of our company paperwork, and insurance, and repairs and such. Oh, yeah, and I'm fine.

So that's pretty much the update.

That, and I need to work on losing weight again, I can tell... my arms start going to sleep at night when I am in bed, and I am starting to have some heartburn issues. Good times. Now where on earth did I stash that motivation?

~a

Knee news

Well, there is nothing REALLY wrong.

It's kind of an irritation or something similar with the meniscus of my knee.

It's not torn, but with all of the pounding associating with the running I have been doing, the ortho said it was getting "spongy" and - the best description I can say is - wrinkled, and that is what is causing the pain. It is not torn. There is a surgery that can remove the portion of the cushioning (meniscus) which may alleviate the pain, if I was a "dedicated marathoner" but as I am just hoping to run one.... I don't want to have to go through the surgery.

The doctor said the marathon this fall is out - I should try and see if it heals by not running for anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months. He said that pretty much trying to run Grandma's in the spring is out, but I might be able to train up for the marathon next year.

I got a elecronic newsletter from the TC marathon today, and at the end of it is a picture of the finisher's medal. I looked at it, and teared up, knowing I will not be getting mine in October.

It sucks.

But, I need to accept it and move on. Better to be able to walk for the rest of my life, and to try again next year. It's not like I have not accomplished anything this year - have run further in one day than ever before. I just need to be smart, and not try to over do it.

And I need to drop some weight, so I don't have that much more on my knees.

So that's the plan. Walk, bike, lose weight, and aim for a marathon in a year.

~a

I would rather have my toenails pulled out

I was home last night, putzing on the computer when the phone rang.

I didn't recognize the number, but I picked it up anyway. The person on the other end of the phone asked for my husband.

Me: may I ask who is calling?
him: This is ---- from ---- I am calling about a entry form that Eric filled out at Bass Pro Shops.
me: Is this about a time share presentation?
him: yes, and a vacation
me: well, you already called, and we said we were not interested
him: what was the reason you were not interested in the vacation deal?
me: I told my husband that I would rather have my toenails pulled out than to sit through another timeshare presentation
him: okay then..... thanks

and then I hear him trying not to burst out laughing as he is disconnecting the call.

You would think they would take us off the list. How more point blank can I be?

And among other assorted news:

I had an MRI on my knee this morning. I have an appointment with the orthopaedist on Friday to go over the results. I also need to bring him my running shoes. At this point, I am kind of scared to go running, for fear of damaging something. I might go for a walk though. I love this time of year, when it's about 55 to 60 degrees in the morning, and it is just envigorating. It is quite sad that I won't be running tomorrow morning at 5am.

I talked to my brother-in-law tonight. I wanted to see if he had any words of wisdom, as I have a job interview tomorrow morning, with the company he currently works for (well, of course he is off on medical right now...). He had some good things to say, and I can really tell that he is making more progress. He got out of the inpatient rehab, and is now at home each night, and I think that is really good for him, and much better for my nieces. My parents are staying with them, so they have been driving him back and forth to the rehab each day, so my sister can work and take care of other things. He is still not back to what he was, and perhaps will never be completely back, but he is continuing to make good progress.

And that's what's up here.

~a

PSA - don't make regrets necessary

It's been kind of a shocking couple of days.

I found out on Friday that a friend of mine had killed himself on the 6th. It is just so sad.

The funeral service was today, and I am glad that I was able to make it. It was also sad, because I think one of the last few times I had seen my friend was when he had gotten married in the same church. I guess I had been closer to his wife/widow, but we had all kind of gone our own ways in the last couple of years.

The group of us knew each other from working in a haunted house that is no longer running. And we all talked about how we should have gotten together before this. It was nice seeing folks, but also so incredibly sad that we have not all seen each other in years, and have not kept touch.

The priest talked about how his family and friends would be thinking about the "could have, should have, would haves" but there is nothing to do but get past that, because what is done is done. But it still makes me wonder what would have happened if we had all stayed in touch and had that camaraderie and support that he evidently needed.

So, don't make those regrets necessary. Make sure you let the people that are important to you know they are important. In this day and age there is no excuse for not staying in touch... how much effort does it really take to sent an e-mail, or to make a phone call?

~a

Ouch.

A friend of mine sent me a note yesterday, to wish me a happy birthday (yes, I turned 37 yesterday) and to ask me if I was running on Saturday.

I'm not running for two reasons -

1. The group meets at 8, and I am volunteering at the Renaissance Festival, and need to be there at 9:30. With the hour drive, I would not be able to make it.
2. Because I'm not running. At all. It hurts. And it really makes me sad.

Do you know how much I would cry if I could not run any more? There is absolutely nothing like a runner's high, and the tired exhaultation you have after going for a long run. You have to be a runner to understand. I guess this means I am a runner.

So, here's the story... I went to the PT on Friday (8/31) and since I was still having pain, and worse than it was before, she said it was time to go to the Ortho. But, I should still do the activities (cardio) that did not hurt me, to keep in shape - if there was something simple I might still be able to attempt the marathon. So I got on the NordicTrack bright and early Saturday morning. 75 minutes, and 8 miles.

And the knee hurt. Not while I was exercising. But that day, just walking around. And it hurt the next day, to the point where I was walking without bending my knee at all, because it hurt. And the next day, it was giving me pain while I was driving.

Something is definately off.

I have an appointment with the Ortho on Monday. We'll have to see what happens.

MIA

I feel like I have been gone for weeks.

But, in reality, it has been only a week. I went to visit my sister in Oklahoma for a week, to help her around the house with the kids, and with my BIL. And he is doing much better. I helped to get him moved to a new facility on Friday. He's out of the hospital, and in a rehab place that specializes in treating people with brain injuries. He seems to be doing so much better, I won't be suprised if he gets "kicked out" in a few weeks... they say the "usual" length of stay there is 2 months, but I don't see him being there that long.

It will be good for him, but it's really kind of a depressing place - since it is for people who have had brain injuries, it's pretty much locked down, so people won't wander off, or try to "escape" as they put it. There are very strict visiting hours, and you are not allowed visitors outside of those hours. One of the main reasons he is staying, is that it would be about a 45 minute drive (one way) to get him there, and to pick him up, and my sister would have to drive since he can't do that yet. But, once they get him sorted out and evaluated, hopefully he will be able to be home on the weekends.

So that was a lot of my vacation. Sitting in the hospital. Taking my nieces to the movies (Underdog), cooking food for my sister, and other general laziness.

I drove down there on the 17th (well to Kansas City, and stayed with a friend). I went for a run Saturday morning - 3 miles, and it was awful. Hot, knee hurt, and I had to stop at a 7-11 to use the bathroom in the middle of my run. I planned to do a long run on Sunday... and I got out at 5:15am with my new Garmin (new toy!), and went 1/4 of a mile before my knee started screaming at me.

as in "bitch - what the hell are you trying to do to me?"

So I went back to the house and crawled into bed, and went back to sleep.

The only exercise I got all week, was a bike ride on Thursday. Okay, so I went 17.5 miles, and was out for about an hour and 20 minutes...

But that's it for the week. 'Cause my knee has been bad. Like hurts to walk down the hall bad. Not sure what's up.

Oh yeah, and I stepped on the scale this morning, and I gained 5 pounds. Happy vacation!

~a